Life and Other Topics

A Quick Update: January

2012-02-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Fresh start! No time for repeats!No time to dwell on the past, we're moving forward and beyond. So anyway, I saw 28 movies over the last month and have gotten 2012 off to a great start. Not all of them have been great and some of them were hold outs so that I wouldn't have doubles on last year's list, but all will be included with ratings here and now:

Winter in Wartime (3)
A Dangerous Method (5)
The Crow (1)
Jimmy Carter: Man from Plains (4)
Bridesmaids (5)
House of Sand and Fog (4)
Submarine (5)
War Horse (4)
Othello (3)
Little Caeser (3)
Beautiful Boy (3)
No Country for Old Men (5)
The Towering Inferno (3)
Crazy Stupid Love (5)
The Lady Vanishes (5)
Super 8 (5)
Nixon (2)
Incendies (5)
Save the Tiger (5)
The Iron Lady (4)
Last Night (4)
The Ladykillers (1955) (3)
Bellflower (4)
Attack the Block (5)
Heathers (5)
Sabotage (5)
This is England (4)
The Farmer's Wife (3)

El Scorcho

2012-01-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

You're in my dreams again
we laughed, we danced, and I held you tight.
Tighter than I'd ever dare in life for fear you'd wriggle away.

I hang onto these dreams
like I hang on your every word,
every look, every slight gesture toward me.

I can't help it.
I don't want to help it.
I want it.

I want to feel the longing in my hands
to hold onto yours.
The longing in my heart
to lay my head on your chest
feeling the sounds of yours

I try not to believe my dreams,
but I'm happy there.
I crave them and curse my body for
awakening.

How do I tell all this to you?

You'll run,
you'll fade away,
you'll just ignore my very existence,
until my texts stop coming
and my calls drop out of memory.

Silently loving you
up close
is my safety,
my way of keeping you around,

But I see the way you look at her,
the way you talk about him.
The words you say to them
and the arms outstretched for them
and not me.

They flock to you
as if you are the only one tossing bread
for them to feed.

They think they have you caged.
I fear sometimes you'll give in,
but when they leave,

I'm here,
you're here.

My mind tells my mouth to smile
it does.
You smile back.

My mind tells my body to lunge forward and sweep you off your feet and into a kiss,
it doesn't.
You make no move either.

I don't see it in your eyes,
but I think I hear it in your voice,
feel it in your body language.

I'm wrong.

My mind swims,
my heart beats out of my chest,
and my mouth dries
as I try the words on my tongue,
but they fall,

into oblivion where they'll stay until
the day I say I'm ready.

Everyday I wait is another day closer
and another day farther away
as I put it off.

I have to be satisfied with dreams,
hopes,
desires,
and fantasies;

For now.
For as long as it takes for me
to say...

My Favorite Movies of 2011

2012-01-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

I had some self-control this year and rather than grabbing some number of movies over 20, I whittled it down to just 20. Mainly, I really didn't find an incredible list of films that had the wow factor that I always crave from the cinema, but the films I did pick just floored me with how well put together they are and how unique and incredible in terms of heft of emotion they evoked.

This is also the first year that I'm writing this list earlier than the end of January because of my proximity to Seattle and my deep love of many films released this year earlier than December, I was able to easily cast off any films that may be in wider release toward the end of the month.

Well, without further pandering or adieu, here are my top 20 films of 2011 in alphabetical order, but in no other way ranked:

50/50: I didn't think it was possible to strike a perfect balance between comedy and real life drama, but this film is able to do it and then some. It is at it's core the essential human story of the fear and emotional toll that our mortality weighs upon us and it's incredibly hilarious.

Another Earth: What would you do if you had a chance to know if your life could have been different? How would you feel about looking at what could have been? These are the exact questions that the characters in this film struggle with and try to make sense of and it's an utterly fascinating journey to watch.

The Artist: Ever since I saw City Lights in college I've had a passion for what silent films can teach us about life and human expression. This film is able to expand upon the silent genre so much that hamming it up in front of the camera is not the only thing we see, but we can also see every raw emotion and slight change in demeanor as it plays across the actor's silent faces and it brings an extraordinary life to the screen that was unparalleled by any talkie this year.

Beginners: It's an utterly unique experience for a film to tackle so many obstacles in a protagonist 's one journey on screen, but this film is able to take each one in stride and bring the story into a unified whole of emotion and a powerful lesson about who we are and what we tell ourselves about the people we've known forever and those we want to know forever.

Bridesmaids: Was there a funnier comedy this year? The simple answer is no. This film broke all of the rules regarding the subject matter it chose to tackle and the way that subject matter is portrayed. So many fully formed characters came out of this film that they literally jumped off the screen and into our hearts by striking our funny bones.

Crazy Stupid Love: Films about love are a dime a dozen, but films that think and portray love as honestly and openly as this one are extremely rare and something that's lacking in many romantic comedies of recent years.

The Descendants: Every look every line of dialogue and every sunny locale used to hide the festering and fetid anger boiling beneath the surface of these character's lives is impeccably crafted and ingeniously woven into the fabric of this crumbling and soon reunited family unit. It's an excellent film in every way.

Drive: This slow burning and quiet film erupts into fits of extreme brutality and violence with a magnitude that shook me to my core and kept my eyes glued to the screen. It's a brilliantly plotted and superbly acted film that is not what any of us could have expected, but it's what we all had hoped for.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: David Fincher has a way of delving into the deep dark catacombs of the human soul that no other director has so efficiently and so often tapped. He is the only man that could make this as brilliant an adaptation as it is keeping us guessing even if like me you read the book before seeing the film.

The Guard: Hilarious and criminally underseen, this film is a new type of buddy cop movie, where the audience is the main cops buddy and the other guy like us is along for his wild and inventive ride. From frame one to the last I never could, nor wanted to guess what happened next, it's a fantastically surprising and fresh film.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: The end of any behemoth franchise is a bittersweet one and rarely do we get such a spectacular and magnificently well crafted ending as we did with this one. It wrapped up the film plotlines and put a wonderful bookend onto the Harry Potter franchise.

Midnight in Paris: Woody Allen, as a filmmaker, has had some wildly inventive films, but none go as far into the fantasy realm as this one does and yet has it stay so grounded in the reality of the characters and what they feel as nostalgia for a time when they hadn't even existed as strange as that sounds.

The Muppets: Speaking of nostalgia, this film is chock full of it from the nods to muppet tropes of yore and the idea that in a CGI filled film landscape there can exist a film so pure and devoid of cynicism that it can and does make me believe again that a frog and a pig can be in love and that breaking out in song will always make you feel better.

Rango: I'll admit it, when I saw the previews for this film I wrote it off and scoffed at the idea, but the animation style, the character development along with the wonderful voice talents brought me around and I had an incredibly enjoyable time learning about and watching this daring cowlizard, who has delusions of grandeur.

Shame: I knew that with a film rated NC-17, I was going to be bombarded with flesh and several scenes of graphic sex acts, but what I didn't expect, or at least was at the back of my mind, was the incredible, brave and searing performances by the two leads that brought the story into focus and helped me to understand things about myself that I wouldn't think a film about sex addiction could.

Super 8: My whole film life has revolved around the films of Spielberg, so to have a wonderful homage to his works is an incredible treat, but what I never expected was for the film to completely take on a life of its own and create a world that burst forth from the homage and became its own complete and wonderful original thought.

The Tree of Life: I've honestly never seen anything like this film in all my years of watching film and I don't expect to see anything like it ever again. I usually hate pretentious answers to films of this scale when the audience is asked what it's about, but I really only have one answer for what this film is about and the reason everyone should see it. It's about us. Whether you realize it or not, everything that makes us human is battling within this film and depending on who you are it can come out either way.

The Trip: Of course I latched onto a film about two wonderful comedians playing versions of themselves on a food road trip through Northern England, but what I didn't expect were the deep themes of life and where their own lives are headed, that the men face while on the trip. It's a welcome surprise, which turned this film from just another road movie into a film that discusses what it means to vacate one's life for a while and how it effects the things we leave behind.

Win Win: To understand this film is to understand what it means to be stuck in an uncompromising rut in life and to suddenly have something dropped in your lap that can turn it all around. Yet, it's not all roses as something dropped in one's lap always comes with bitter consequences and this film deals with all of those consequences head on without flinching and with a grace that's impeccable.

X-Men: First Class: I have always loved the X-Men and to see a wonderful origin story that predates the original film origin story is incredibly refreshing and reinvigorates the storyline by bringing in new blood while paying wonderful homage to the old films. I loved the new superhero aesthetic placed into an old school style.

Year End Statistics 2011

2012-01-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

In the last year I faced some personal challenges and became a professional of the retail variety so I have changed my movie watching habits, to a degree that compared with last years numbers, I've seen 37 fewer films and actually no repeats, bringing my grand total to 372 films I watched during 2011. Now, being off by 37 might seem like a lot, but I tell you folks, I tried. I really tried to exceed the year that was 2010. Not necessarily forcing myself to watch films, but really planning out what I would see and when and seeing if I could sneak a few more in there for good measure. I'm not disappointed by the number, but I guarentee you it will be smaller next year. For one thing I will still have a job for at least the first few months of the year and I'll be busy catching up on being me and experiencing life outside the theater walls with their speaker systems, bright lights and undignified rows of texters and loud whisperers, but until then I'd like to share my statistics and I'll compare this year's numbers to the previous two years numbers and we'll see how my habits have changed if at all over the years.

DVD home ownership, me or someone else's:
2009: 71
2010: 43
2011: 30

Internet Streaming:
2009: Netflix: 101, Hulu: 4
2010: Netflix: 145, Hulu: 2
2011: Netflix: 128, Hulu: 0

DVD Rentals:
2009: Netflix: 134, Blockbuster: 24
2010: Netflix: 144, Blockbuster: 19
2011: Netflix: 137, Blockbuster: 10

OnDemand (Comcast):
2009: 5
2010: 6
2011: 1

In Theaters:
2009: 62
2010: 50
2011: 66

Total:
2009: 401
2010: 409
2011: 372

A Quick Update: December

2012-01-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I nearly did it, but my schedule this month due to the holidays nearly did me in, so I wasn't able to completely make my goal of seeing a movie a day this month and possibly pushing myself over in the grand total arena. Yet, I did watch 28 movies this past month and had no repeats. See the next post for the totals for the year and the statistics for the methods of viewing I've pursued. So, here at last are the movies I've closed out 2011 with and their ratings.

The Beaver (3)
Take Shelter (5)
Like Crazy (5)
L'Enfant (4)
Raising Arizona (5)
Melancholia (4)
All the President's Men (5)
The Postman Always Ring Twice (4)
In a Better World (4)
The Game (4)
Shame (5)
Hesher (3)
Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai (5)
Cell 211 (5)
Delicatessan (5)
Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol (4)
Young Adult (5)
Scream 4 (3)
The Small Back Room (3)
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Thrones (3)
North by Northwest (5)
Cliffhanger (2)
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (5)
The Artist (5)
Arsenic and Old Lace (5)
Heavenly Creatures (4)
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (4)
The Adventures of Tintin (4)

A Quick Update: November

2011-12-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, some good news and some bad news this month. The good news is that I brought my total movies seen up to 342, the bad news it is only that high, which means with one month left to go, it's looking like I might not get beyond last years total, but miracles happen. Anywho, let's get down to brass tacks. This month I saw a grand total of 21 movies with no repeats. Now, let's see the titles and ratings.

Stranger Than Paradise (3)
Peep World (2)
Life During Wartime (2)
Being There (5)
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold (5)
The Lincoln Lawyer (3)
Panic Room (4)
The Birdcage (3)
Martha Marcy May Marlene (5)
Noises Off (3)
Small Town Murder Songs (2)
Ghost in the Shell (4)
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (4)
The Conspirator (3)
The Day of the Jackal (4)
My Dog Tulip (5)
The Muppets (5)
The Beatles: Help! (4)
Rushmore (5)
Hugo (4)
The Descendants (5)

A Quick Update: October

2011-11-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

What happened to the months where I could see 30-40 movies in a month and not bat an eye? Oh yeah, I graduated college and got a job. Well, that accounts for the paltry 19 movies I saw in the month of October, but it also brings my total up to 321 films seen with no repeats. I still have plenty of time to beat my number last year and with the slew of Oscar bait coming out I will be sure to try and make a few double features happen. Now,without further adieu, let's get down to the list, with ratings:

Reality Bites (2)
It Happened One Night (5)
True Lies (3)
Waiting for "Superman" (3)
The Ides of March (4)
Inside Job (5)
Of Gods and Men (4)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (5)
Dog Day Afternoon (5)
Saving Private Ryan (5)
Flags of Our Fathers (4)
Letters from Iwo Jima (5)
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (4)
Network (5)
The Special Relationship (4)
A Simple Plan (5)
Tombstone (3)
Rango (5)
Conan O'Brien Can't Stop (5)

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 1. The Constant (Season 4)

2011-10-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure it's a surprise that "The Constant" is my favorite episode of Lost, but there is no doubt in my mind that when I go over the series in my head, it's the one episode that stands out above the rest as being the best.

"The Constant" combines the incredibly trippy science fiction we've come to expect from the show with the deep love of the characters and their relationships, which we'll most definitely come back to over the course of this post, but I do want to mention some of my favorite pieces of this episode that are incredibly unique to it.

My favorite aspect of the episode is the quick cutting between Desmond's time jumps. They accurately and actively displace the audience and Desmond within time and serve as an intriguing plot device with which to describe the mechanics of time travel as Daniel Faraday explains them.

Also, the idea of displacement helps the audience to understand Desmond's utter, desperate need for his anchor, or constant, within both time periods so that he can remain. Unlike Desmond, we watch what happens when one cannot find their constant as Minkowski quickly dislodges from time, with some violent seizures, and doesn't ever make it back to the present.

All of this action helps us to understand the seasons to come in the series, where certain characters need some kind of constant, but are unable to find it or grasp it in time.

As we realize who Desmond's constant will be we begin to understand that despite the weirdness on the Island, there is a constant to the show. The constant we are presented with are the genuine human attachments we can form and see play out between the characters on the show. That heart and emotional core.

All this talk about constants brings me to my favorite scene in the episode. I think it's the one you're all thinking of as well.

In 1996, Desmond has made an incredible amount of mistakes and has had the misfortune of repeating them, so as he runs toward Penny and a proposed salvation, he, in my opinion, wonders if this could be another mistake, but we see the conviction on his face as he explains the situation to Penny in the best way possible, which is of course, the crazy person way, telling her he can't explain why he needs her phone number or why he's going to be waiting 8 years to use it or even why he can't write it down, but there is something there between the two of them.

And then we're returned to the present (2004) where Desmond rattles off the number to Sayid and there is a pause. For me that pause lasts a life time and suddenly, Penny picks up the phone.

I don't know about you guys, but always at this point I lose it. I can't help, but bawl my eyes out as Penny and Desmond rekindle a flame that had always been burning. They say how much they've loved each other and Penny reveals she's coming to find him.

That moment is this catharsis, that, like I've been saying, despite the weird circumstances of how they do it or how they can come to conclusions and wrap a terrifying ordeal, Lost is always about the characters.

Those that love, those that hate, those that we love and hate. The whole series could revolve around this episode and basically sum it up saying that without the people most important to us in our lives, we'd cease to exist.

We need those connections, that love to keep us grounded and to be a constant presence when we need it and a constant presence when we don't, can't, won't understand anything. They're there to guide us home, keep us safe and comfortable.

"The Constant" is an amazing example of balance within a drama show as well as an amazing episode of Lost. I love every minute of it and every tiny detail I can analyze from it to glean the full meaning of Lost as a series, from its 44 minutes.

*Thank you for reading these posts, it has been a pleasure to write them, surprises and all that have come out of the experiences. I'm hoping to do more lists like this in the future, so stay in tune with the blog as I'll make an announcement soon as to what the next list might be.

Not My Predictions, My Winners

2011-10-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I've seen too many great movies these past 9 months to not mention that I wish they could have the Oscars right now. I know what you're thinking and I'm desperate to see several movies coming out in the next three months, but I love these films too much to let them get ignored under the gigantic scope of prestige pictures, so here are my nominees and subsequent winners with rationale for my nine month mark of 2011 Oscars. I'm going to start with the writing categories and move all the way up to the big show, so enjoy!

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Jane Eyre
Everything Must Go
Moneyball
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Winner: Drive: For me it's not about the dialogue, but about knowing something is going on in a character's head and being able to see that come out in the facial expressions and actions on screen. I think that takes an impeccable eye for detail in the adapting process and one that without the blueprint of a great script couldn't be translated as well as Drive was translated to the screen.

Best Original Screenplay:

Bridesmaids
The Tree of Life
Super 8

Winner: (Tie) Beginners and 50/50: I chose to have a tie in this category because not only are the two films dealing with the similar subject matter of death, but also because they are able to carefully and beautifully navigate the balance between the humor and the tragedy of disease and the people who are forced to confront it.

Best Supporting Actress:

Anna Kendrick 50/50
Melissa McCarthy Bridesmaids
Jessica Chastain The Tree of Life
Melanie Laurent Beginners

Winner: Octavia Spencer The Help: This one was pretty easy to decide, but not because of the buzz, but because in this role Octavia Spencer is finally given the proper showcase for her immense talent. Of course she had the cliched, "mmmmHms" and other sassiness, but Spencer was able to take those small bits to the next level, elevate them, and make us believe as if she had invented the posture and mannerisms all by herself.

Best Supporting Actor:

Brad Pitt The Tree of Life

John C. Reilly Terri
Christopher Plummer Beginners

Kyle Chandler Super 8

Winner: Albert Brooks Drive: This pick was also an easy one for me. While his costars are given quite a bit of flash extra quirks, Brooks' gangster has a quiet and disquieting menace about him and its not until the audience sees his true state as he takes care of a problem that the full measure of Brooks' intensity shines through and makes it an incredible performance to watch unfold.

Best Actress:

Mia Wasikowska Jane Eyre
Michelle Williams Meek's Cutoff
Saoirse Ronan Hanna
Brit Marling Another Earth

Winner: Viola Davis The Help: I did something non-traditional in this case because while technically, Davis' role, would be considered a supporting one, her character is the moral center and a large driving force for the action in the story, so much so that she carries the emotional heft of all of the scenes she's in and does an incredible job of doing so.

Best Actor:

Ryan Gosling Drive
Brendan Gleeson The Guard
Owen Wilson Midnight in Paris
Paul Giamatti Win Win

Winner: Joseph Gordon-Levitt 50/50: I picked JGL because his unique and beautiful ability to rip open and tap into the raw emotional power of a scene is truly unmatched by anything I've seen this year. He can deliver the punch line and in the next scene, have you grabbing for the nearest hanky. He's simply sublime in this role and honestly this is also my pick for his entire body of diverse intriguing work.

Best Picture:

50/50
Another Earth
Beginners
Bridesmaids
Crazy Stupid Love
Drive
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Midnight in Paris
Super 8

Winner: The Tree of Life: Could there really have been another choice for this slot? Of course there could, but out of all of the films I've seen this year it has everything. Incredible acting, a fantastic, unique concept, dazzling effects, and the sheer scale at which it covers the cosmos, to the incredible intimacy of a nuclear family. The Tree of Life is what I think represents the best of the modern cinema in that it creates a discussion of the film and even life itself.

A Quick Update: September

2011-10-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

I was hoping that at this time, this year I'd be typing this post from my very own apartment, but like with a lot of things in life, it just didn't work out that way. So, anywho, let's get down to some brass tacks. Going into the home stretch of 2011, I'm proud to say I've seen 302 movies with none having been repeated thus far. As for just the month of September, I was only able to squeak out with 21 films to add to the pot, but it was definitely quality over quantity this month with far fewer 2 and 3 ratings than last month. So, without further adieu, here they are:

Midnight Cowboy (4)
Ceremony (4)
The Guard (5)
Another Year (3)
Sixteen Candles (5)
Orgasm Inc. (3)
Billy the Kid (5)
Contagion (5)
Kill the Irishman (2)
Drive (5)
Open Your Eyes (4)
Bigger than Life (4)
Monogamy (2)
All the Real Girls (4)
Lethal Weapon (3)
A Few Good Men (3)
The Company Men (2)
Moneyball (4)
Roman Holiday (5)
50/50 (5)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (5)

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 2. Everybody Hates Hugo (Season 2)

2011-09-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I love parody titles and especially ones that delve deeper into the psyche of the person the episode is centering on because really, nobody hates Hugo and especially not me.

I see this episode, like I've seen all the episodes on this list, as a foreshadowing devise as to how the characters will evolve into the people they become at the end of the series.

In this episode we find Hurley in a predicament that people have put him in for most of his life. A position where he can be taken advantage of and because he is as he calls himself in a previous episode, "Good Time Hurley," he lets them take that advantage.

Kate gets shampoo, Charlie begs for some peanut butter. Everyone wants some thing that Hurley has and he knows that the vicious cycle that he tried so desperately to get away from is coming back to haunt him, whether from the numbers or some other force he can't control, but he's back on top as a person with real "Island" wealth.

I'm gonna jump forward to my favorite sequence of events. This is one of the few episodes, that has an almost obvious parallel between the flashback and the action on the Island and it is almost like it could be Hurley remembering these things as he attempts his explosive plan.

We start in the flashback with Hurley and Johnny making it to the gas station where Hurley picked up his winning lottery ticket, then it quickly shifts to Hurley explaining to Rose why he wants to blow up the food instead of doing what he was assigned to do.

Then the flashbacks and the present meld together as he tells Rose of the terrible luck he's had with wealth and privilege before and how he became despised.

I love how Rose calms Hurley down and is really his guiding voice back into sanity in this scene. She's there to remind us and Hurley that no one really knows what to do with the responsibility we're given and we can only do what we feel is necessary in our hearts.

That segue's very well into the next scene where Hurley is able to talk to Jack and make the command decision to distribute the food all at once in a large feast.

I say that this scenario informs on Hurley's later roles because it show us, who Hurley really is and what kind of a leader he can be. He's shied away from responsibility for himself for a long time and when he's given responsibility over others he's terrified.

Yet, we find that all he needed was to know that none of us know what to do. That we all wing it in most decisions and once he realized that he could let go.

Hurley could let go of that fear and that doubt and listen to the best intentions of his heart and I believe that that's how he leads, how he cares so deeply for others and has compassion.

He needs that confidence and also that little push from Jack, where Jack says that Hurley was put in charge and he stands by that decision.

I think this is one of the best episodes and one of my favorites because it does highlight the hero in Hurley when he's able to stop leading other people's way and is able to lead his own way and create his own style and I'd like to think of that as his leadership style long after the people he's fed in this episode are gone.

A Quick Update: August

2011-09-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Well, August and the summer movie season has come and gone and here we are heading into another fall and another swath of prestige and/or awards bait pictures. Before all that though, let's go back in time and I'll tell you what I ended up watching this past month. For the month of August I saw 26 films and have had no repeats, so for the year, I have seen 281 films and I have had not one single repeated film all year.

Now, without further adieu, the films I saw in August, complete with ratings:

Crazy Stupid Love (5)
Cowboys and Aliens (3)
The Conformist (5)
Kaboom (2)
The Trip (5)
The Human Condition: Part 1 (5)
The Winning Season (4)
The Human Condition: Part 2 (5)
Scream 3 (3)
(500) Days of Summer (5)
The Human Condition: Part 3 (5)
The Apostle (2)
30 Minutes or Less (4)
The Help (4)
Biutiful (5)
I Am Number Four (2)
Battle: Los Angeles (3)
Sucker Punch (1)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (4)
The Concert (4)
High Plains Drifter (2)
Our Idiot Brother (4)
The Apartment (5)
Another Earth (5)
Happythankyoumoreplease (3)
Quiet City (4)

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 3. Not in Portland (Season 3)

2011-08-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

I think there are great reasons for watching TV shows and one of the greatest reasons I can think of for my personal viewing of Lost is the characters that are so complex, they simply can't be pigeonholed into a single archetype or characterization.

Which brings me to why I simply love this episode: Juliet. She's a complete enigma to us at this point in the storyline and through this episode we see something of who Juliet was before the Island and what her life was like.

Through the Island action we see that her life hasn't changed all that much. She's still stuck in this pattern of overbearing, forceful men, that no matter where she seems to go, she can't escape from, yet there is something different this time.

Outside forces came together to take away her reason for staying where she was in Florida. Simple fate or as I like to think of it, an act of Jacob, took Edmund Burke from the Earthly plane and gave Juliet her out, yet this time we see something different happening in Juliet.

She loses herself in the Island, the fact that she's at the end of her rope develops into this feeling. Especially when in surgery she takes command of the situation. Quietly speaking orders to those Others around her. She knows she needs Ben to survive and takes the wheel of responsibility.

Then the rug is pulled out from under her again, by another man she thought she knew. She's sent out of the room and I have to imagine that she was formulating a plan as she fumed over the decision.

There is so much tension as Ben and Juliet discuss what will happen next. We can't hear it and somehow it's more powerful that way especially as I mentioned that Juliet has a habit of floundering under the weight of the overbearing men in her life.

I feel like her plan builds and builds into this fever pitch of an idea that she snaps a little bit, which brings us to one of my favorite scenes in the history of the show.

As Danny bares down on Kate, Sawyer, Alex and Karl, we never see Juliet coming as she shouts, "Danny," and puts two bullets in his chest.

She has nothing to lose at this point. Ben gave her carte blanche to do or say anything to persuade Danny to let Kate and Sawyer go, but Juliet must have realized that there is no persuading a man like Danny Pickett. She knew he might not believe her and she took her shot.

All of this goes back to how much she cares for her sister and seeing her nephew again. She's desperate to know the facts about her to know she's O.K., to feel her presence again in this life time. It's something that can come over all of us, this feeling that we would do anything to get back to the person in this world who means the most to us.

Juliet is complex and fascinating not because she's desperate to get back to her sister and to get away from Ben and the overbearing nature of the men in her life, it's because really she is able to fully realize herself and her existence in this episode in that she's going to take control.

She won't let anyone be the boss of her unless she can use them to get home and back to where she can control everything again and be the healer she always wanted to be away from all the death of the Island.

This particular episode is one reason I have never stopped loving the person Juliet is because she became less of a character and more of a person. Irrational, erratic, a loose cannon, much like someone we'd expect to find in our lives. Someone whose behavior can't always be predicted and shouldn't be. Someone we can love for who they are because there is no hiding behind what's expected anymore. There's only what she might do.

A Quick Update: July

2011-08-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

This past month was kind of a dismal one in terms of my movie watching. I blame my full time job of course and the fact that I had to make the tough decision that I won't be using Netflix streaming services anymore and so I had to figure out logistics and try and finish up TV shows and all that. Anywho, let's get to the point of why we're here. First off, I saw 22 movies this month and had no repeats. The tally is now 7 months without a repeat! This brings my total to 255 movies I've seen this year.

Now here's the more depressing part, I saw fewer movies that I "loved" than I just "liked" this month. I think I need to reshuffle the old Netflix queue for quality purposes. Here's the list, with ratings:

Made in Dagenham (2)
The Friends of Eddie Coyle (5)
Conviction (3)
Galaxy Quest (5)
Beginners (5)
Rubber (5)
I'm Not Scared (3)
Horrible Bosses (4)
Fright Night (1985) (3)
I Love You Phillip Morris (3)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 (5)
Stonewall Uprising (5)
Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles (4)
The Way Back (3)
The Dark Knight (5)
All the King's Men (1949) (4)
No Strings Attached (1)
Captain America: The First Avenger (4)
Virtuality (2)
Casino Jack (3)
Friends with Benefits (4)
Brotherhood (2)
Night Train to Munich (5)

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 4. The End (Season 6)

2011-07-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to sum up my deep and affectionate love for the ending of Lost in my own rather intriguing interpretive way, but what I will do is I'll dissect my two favorite scenes which happen to be the sideways flash mixed into the Island time.

Jack's final sacrifice, in which he finally reaches redemption, is decent, but the scene before that when he gives Hurley the water and makes him like Jacob is the scene that gets to me every time.

Of course it was always meant to be Hurley, the kindest, gentlest and loveable of all the candidates who can make the big decisions for the good of all the group, who needed the Island to heal his tortured soul and could commune with the spirits of the Island even when off the Island. it was always meant to be him.

Hurley became that leader, the man he needed to be in the last few seasons. He found within himself the powerful man he always could be and I believe Jacob saw that in him as he watched him all those years.

To skip ahead a little, when Hurley and Ben are sitting on a log, as they've done before and are wondering what to do. Ben reminds Hurley that he doesn't have to follow Jacob's rules any more because in effect, he is Jacob. He gets to make the rules and decide what happens.

In this moment there is an a-ha for Hurley as well as Ben and I have to admit I love the fact that Hurley asks him to be his number 2 and even more that he accepts graciously.

Skipping over to the flashsideways, I think that very quiet moment between Ben and Hurley outside the church is something beautiful as you know, just from their conversation that the partnership they had was extremely beneficial to each of them and created an incredible bond.

I love that extreme redeemable sense of the Island being something to change people and make them better than they could be just by fate, by the people it brought there and the time at which it brought them.

Sticking in that vein of truth the next section I want to mention is the intercut sections of the end of Jack's life and the group's Ascension into the higher plane of existence.

I cried all the way through the reunions of the group and the stumbling of Jack through the bamboo forest. It's alternatively a very sad and an incredibly happy moment in the series. Jack's dying, but we know he gets to see his loved ones again.

To watch our hero end his journey where it all began is very cathartic especially as he ends it with the first castaway he met as Vincent calmly lays next to him as a comfort.

I see the plane in the sky as Jack sees it and I think of it as the Ajira flight, but I think it's also a representation of how Jack gets into the purgatory world. The beginning of the season has Jack in the Oceanic 815 plane as it hits a little bump and I have to think that it's his ascent into the heavenly plane at that point that he closes his eye one final time.

These are just a few of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite episodes. I'm always surprised at how divided and actually quite polarized many fans are about this episode and I just wish they could see it through my eyes.

Ignoring their inner entitlements and demands for answers and just watching and saying goodbye to these incredible characters and knowing that while they're apart in the rest of their natural lives, they get to be together again in the next one. That this story came down to that most basic human tenets of good versus evil with good triumphing, if tragically.

It sums the series up and puts a beautiful and loving capper on the entire experience that the show has become and what it will forever be etched into the minds of those who loved it since that initial plane crash.

A Quick Update: June

2011-07-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

So I fell a little behind this month in terms of overall movies watched, but I've been busy making money so I can see more movies in the future. In June I saw a total of 29 movies and still not a single repeat among them, which brings my grand total to 233 movies seen with no repeats. I'm very glad about this number and I'll see what I can do about the total during July. There should be quite a few more movies I want to see during this month than last, so we'll see. Without further adieu, here they are, ratings and all:

The Navigator (5)
Three Colors Trilogy: White (4)
Three Colors Trilogy: Red (4)
Terri (5)
Scream 2 (3)
Wild Target (3)
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover (4)
X-Men: First Class (5)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) (3)
Never Let Me Go (4)
The Next Three Days (2)
Super 8 (5)
Meek's Cutoff (4)
Midnight in Paris (5)
Diner (3)
Wet Hot American Summer (4)
Green Lantern (2)
The Deal (4)
From Dusk Till Dawn (2)
Empire Records (2)
Unstoppable (2)
Come and See (4)
Morning Glory (3)
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (5)
The Tree of Life (5)
Cool It (4)
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring (4)
War Photographer (4)
Made in Dagenham (2)

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 5. White Rabbit (Season 1)

2011-06-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

Does any of us really have what it takes? Early on in this episode, we learn not for the first time, but with precedence, of Jack's desperate need to fix things or help people as it were and we see his father's efforts to suppress this inherent nature by essentially telling him what he can't do.

That he doesn't have what it takes, so at this point on the Island, Jack's inherent nature has kicked in, but the tiny clinking of ice and voice in the back of his head keep throwing him back down to earth and into a place where he doesn't want the job.

The other castaways sense his leadership. They know he can think and is driven toward a common goal of their best interest, but they can't understand his inner turmoil over his father or the fact that when he fails, he mentally shuts himself down, creating a larger barrierof communication and responsibility.

All his life, his father has taken the time to tell Jack, he doesn't have what it takes to be responsible for other people, that he can't lead and those scars run deep, which is why I think Jack so desperately chases after the image of his father (It's my interpretation and now that the series is finished, a fact that the man Jack chased was the Man in Black).

He wants for someone else to take the reigns from him and to tell him what to do, which is why the pow wow with Locke is so very important. Locke is able to interpret Jack's mind. To answer his questions with impartiality as Christian could never do.

The one thing I know about my parents and about everyone's parents is that, more than anything, they want their children to be better than themselves, to succeed, exceed, and proceed on after the parent is done with their phase of development.

Christian wants Jack to rise to the occasion, to bring out the qualities every man should have and to create a stronger person than he could ever be, unfortunately Christian went about it in the wrong way and said it in a way that was confusing to a young Jack.

Jack's confusion continued into adulthood as he grasped on to the one flaw that proved his father didn't always have what it takes either. He was able to push his father away by exposing the misinterpretation between them.

So when Jack says to Locke, "I don't know how to help them. I'll fail. I don't have what it takes."

Immediately, Locke asks, "Why are you out here, Jack?"

A light bulb goes on. Jack's chasing something. He's chasing the power to do what needs to be done. He's chasing his own psyche. His fears, his doubts, everything comes back to his father. He sees his limitations in his father and chases the comfort of them because if Christian's around he can save Jack from the burden of responsibility, from failure because he'd have that safety net.

This is why Locke tells him to find it, "Because a leader can't lead unless he knows where he's going." Jack needs to know where he's going. He has to remove the incredibly large blindfold of his father's shadow from his vision.

All of this leads into my favorite scene of the episode. I'm in love with the way that the Man in Black gets Jack's attention for his final chase, the clinking of the ice cubes in a glass.

Jack chases the noise until he's in a cave with running water. As he drinks he sees the doll in the pool and pulls it out. Turning throughout the cave, he sees the rest of the wreckage inside and then the wooden casket.

The last obstacle. The one last thing Jack needs to know. He goes to the casket, opens it, and sees that it's empty. His father is metaphorically and physically gone. He's not in Jack's way any longer. He's not there.

When Jack smashes the casket to bits, he's throwing out that last bit of influence. He's destroying his doubts about what to do and shoving the mantra of his father out the window and with every raising and contact of metal on wood he's saying, "I have what it takes. I will lead them."

Jack destroyed his demons so that he could focus on the task at hand. The people on the beach need direction. They need a single voice crying out with a commanding presence and that's when we got that moment in Lost history, the "Live together, die alone," speech.

This speech, this command brought the castaways to some harsh realities of their existence that they hadn't ever thought they would face. They needed in that moment to understand their situation and to have it laid out plainly for them.

Of course, Jack will still have doubts about his own leadership and questioning whether he has what it takes, but from this episode on, pretty much, he never shows it. He puts on that mask of bravery and fights the demons away in his head.

I love this episode because it is such an interpretive thing and the subplot has more than a cursory effect on the character driven idea of this episode. It directly builds and helps create a lasting idea of Jack's leadership abilities and the trials he had to face in getting there as well as establishing other characters in the roles they will continue to embody: Kate and Sayid = deputies, Sawyer = hoarder, Boone = has the best of intentions, Charlie = fierce protector.

I've fallen in love with this episode more and more as I've watched it multiple times and it never loses its impact or fails to surprise me with tiny new details or little things I can see in the background.

A Quick Update: May

2011-06-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

It was actually a slow month on the movie watching front because, you guessed it, I finally got a job! WOOOO! Anywho, it was a long time coming and I've had scheduling and finagling to do as well as going away for a few days this weekend threw me off, but here we go: I watched 31 movies this month with no repeats, which brings my grand total to: 204 movies seen so far in 2011 and no repeats. Now, here they are with Netflix ratings and all:

The Godfater: Part II (5)
Werckmeister Harmonies (4)
Down Terrace (5)
Machete (3)
Jane Eyre (2011) (5)
Ip Man (5)
Amores Perros (4)
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (5)
Welcome to the Rileys (3)
Fifty Dead Men Walking (3)
Thor (4)
The Virginity Hit (2)
Waste Land (5)
All Good Things (3)
Judgement at Nuremberg (5)
The Romantics (3)
Bridesmaids (5)
Everything Must Go (4)
City of Men (4)
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2)
Last Night (4)
Joint Security Area (3)
Heartless (3)
Treatment (5)
Skeletons (4)
Dodgeball (4)
Megamind (3)
Tangled (4)
How Do You Know (3)
Blue (4)
Paranormal Activity 2 (2)

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 1. Kissing Oscar (Season 3)

2011-05-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

I love, love, love the amazing awkward moments on The Office and this one especially for because after Oscar apologizes for his outburst and accepts Michael's hug, the first time I watched it, I thought it was done and over with, but then...

He promises the kiss and suddenly there is this incredible struggle between Michael's trying to prove a point and Oscar's trying not to hurt his feelings that it becomes a grunting and wriggling man mess of incredible hilarity.

I love every second of that interaction as well as the very disgusted look on Michael's face afterward. It is the perfect Michael moment because it sums up how far he is willing to go and how much he thinks he has to go there.

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 2. Prison Mike (Season 3)

2011-05-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

In the pantheon of Michael Scott characters, this one is by far the best and most incredible. If not for the Googled prison experiences, the incredibly horrific description of how Ryan would be passed around, or the ridiculous purple bandana, then for one extra special reason.

When asked the what the worst part of prison was, without thinking, Prison Mike exclaimed, the Dementors. I cannot help laughing uproariously every time he blurts this little slip of the mind.

Like all of Michael's characters, Prison Mike tries desperately and fails to teach all of us an important lesson and that's why we love him.

My FavoriteMichael Scott Moments: 3. Diversity Day (Season 1)

2011-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

This whole episode is utterly brilliant and I could pick out any one of the great moments within it, but I have to go with Michael's recitation of the Chris Rock bit.

I love that he can't stand when a joke is being told badly and his go for broke recitation of the joke in Chris Rock character is daring and brilliant television.

I love every second of it and this particular episode is one of the best of the series.

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 6. The Shape of Thigs to Come (Season 4)

2011-05-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

There is an incredibly amazing thing that happens in this episode. We find out that Benjamin Linus can absolutely be shaken to his core.

As much as we have seen in any other episode of the series, every character, every person has faced something that they are speechless with how to handle the emotional heft of the situation, but none has such an impact on character or perception, at least in my mind as what happens in this episode has on Ben Linus.

We'll get to that, but I have to say that this is one of the episodes in the series that I actually feared for several of my favorite character's lives. Especially in the very epic battle that takes place between the mercenaries and the survivors at the village.

For the first time, they are out gunned and very much out matched in terms of strategy and strength of force. The fear in Ben as he lifts that piano bench top and tosses Sawyer a sawed off shotgun and heads into the safety of his old residence is palatable.

I feel that fear in Ben throughout the episode, but not while Sawyer is chasing after Claire as she gets her house blown to bits or when Hurley chucks the ottoman through the window to let in Sawyer and an unconscious Claire, but as soon as Miles walks in with that walkie-talkie I knew he was frightened.

This is my favorite sequence of events, for a number of reasons that I will go into depth on.

When Ben is handed the walkie-talkie he is in command. he knows what he needs to do. He's prepared to die for the Island and to let everyone else in that house die with him. He speaks to Keamy as if his life isn't in danger.

But as soon as Alex is brought out and the pistol put to her head it all melts out of his face. He tries desperately not to show his fear, but it's there. It's become real all of a sudden. The one thing he would not compromise about is sitting there in front of him and he has to make a choice: Her life or his.

He chooses his own trying desperately to call Keamy's bluff, spouting off information ignoring Keamy's warning even proclaiming that she meant nothing at all to him and trying to distance himself from her, but as that gun goes off, that all melts away again.

It is a slight relaxation of his features and a distant forlorn look on his face and it says it all. He couldn't have predicted it and he didn't want to think it could happen. He stares with his large bugged eyes and waits.

I want to believe that he's waiting for her to get up, that the gun had blanks in it and it was a scare tactic. I feel like at that moment he lost a deeper part of himself that he could never get back from anyone or anywhere.

Which is why I believe he though his only solace was revenge and why he went to summon the monster. To kill Keamy and his team as a substitute, for the time being, for Charles Widmore, the man who changed the rules of their game.

What always gets me about this episode is that in the middle of the carnage being wrought on the mercenaries, Ben walks out to Alex's body and he hugs her one last time. He lets the emotion and pain he had for her at the moment flow out of him and he knew he had to keep going if not to save himself, but to save the Island he swore to protect, but for him it's always been about himself, about his power.

At this point he's lost quite a bit of it. He's become a man on a singular mission of revenge. It's shown throughout the flashforward as well.

Ben moves the Island so that Widmore can no longer find it and then finds the one man who can understand his pain and manipulates him into becoming a killer again. Taking down Widmore under the guise of protecting those they left behind.

Destroying him piece by piece, person by person. Just as Widmore destroyed his life. He goes to him and tells him of the plan of the way he will take him away of his deep and unending pain and torment over his choice of the Island over the one person who still in some ways loved him.

Ben is this seething ball of anguish and determination that will not be stopped except by act of God. I think it's all seen in his face at the window.

For months Benjamin Linus held everything in the palm of his hand was able to mold it like clay, but in that moment I think he cared less about the Island, it's inhabitants, anyone else on Earth, but Charles Widmore and destroying him wholly and completely.

When ever I used to talk about the series I used to call Ben Linus the greatest villain of all time, but I've come to realize through this episode for sure that his is one of the greatest characters of all time for the fact of his very gray way of looking and thinking and acting.

He isn't a villain, he's a father. He isn't an evil man, he's a man of great principles and a great willingness to protect the greatest good on Earth, by any means necessary. I respect his character and determination even if I would not claim to follow the same methods as he has.

This is such a wonderful episode and an incredible insight into the character of Benjamin Linus that I couldn't have expected when he was first introduced, that at this point in the series I would have, but did, cry for his pain and his loss and almost root fro him from then on in the series.

A Quick Update: April

2011-05-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

Another pretty good month of movie watching has come and gone. I didn't go to the theater a ton this month, just because I am saving the moola for that ever amazing crop of summer blockbusters. Soon my weekends will be filled with anticipation and eager trips to matinees. So, without further ado, my tally for the month of April is 39 films seen with not a repeat in the bunch. That brings me to my grand total of 173 movies so far seen in 2011 and no repeats to speak of. Now, here they are, the titles, with ratings attached:

Source Code (5)
Breathless (5)
Little Shop of Horrors (1960) (3)
High Noon (5)
Cairo Time (5)
Night Catches Us (5)
Four Lions (5)
Going the Distance (3)
Hanna (5)
Howl (4)
The Blues Brothers (5)
Win Win (5)
12 Angry Men (5)
Dumb and Dumber (5)
Shoot the Piano Player (4)
Sword of Doom (5)
Buried (5)
I'm Reed Fish (2)
Ikiru (5)
The King of Comedy (5)
Seven (5)
Lebanon (5)
Super (5)
Die Hard with a Vengeance (3)
Peacock (3)
Tootsie (4)
Devil (3)
Rashomon (5)
Inherit the Wind (4)
Dial M for Murder (5)
The Third Man (5)
Slap Shot (3)
Mesrine: Killer Instinct (5)
High and Low (5)
Jack Goes Boating (4)
Mesrine: Public Enemy #1 (5)
Seven Days in May (5)
Paper Man (5)
The Battle of Algiers (5)

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 4. The Booze Cruise (Season 2)

2011-04-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

While there were so many wonderful things happening in this episode, even incredible Michael moments, the dance contest entry, telling the people on board that the boat was sinking, and throwing up near the person from corporate, but my favorite moment is a tender one that I think people can over look.

Jim is still obsessed with Pam at this point and he goes out to where Michael has been tied to the railing of the boat. He explains the problem and Michael actually gives some great advice. He tells Jim to go for it and to see if he can't change Pam's mind.

This quiet moment in the storm of reckless abandon and bad decisions that is Michael Scott is what makes Michael an intriguing character to watch and kind of grounds him in our own reality when he can sometimes be seen in as being off in his own too often.

Another Milestone

2011-04-28T13:06:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I let you guys know about my victory in National Novel Writing Month and now I'm proud to announce that I've conquered another month long writing contest, Script Frenzy!

It was 100 pages in 30 days. I accepted the challenge and now I have two completed scripts, and two completed novels, one other one in the works and I couldn't feel happier about having made these big steps to toward my writing career.

And I gotta tell you I'm looking forward to this coming November so that I can take on and bust out another novel and keep going and going and rewriting and rewriting until I have a bunch of things I can be proud of and hopefully a bunch of things I can sell. We'll just have to wait and see.

A Late Spring Night's Dream

2011-04-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

I saw her again. If it wasn't her it was an incredible copy.

It was in my head, my dream that I saw her, the woman I haven't seen for the better part of nine months. It was her.

I've seen her in dreams before, a whisper, a blurred vision, ducking behind other things, as a feeling of a body placed with a different face and sometimes different personality, but...

This was her, clear, definite, smiling, self.

We stood facing each other, a library table between us.

Guarding us from each other? Keeping her from me? Me from Her? Making sure we knew our place? The literal metaphor of so close yet so far?

She said something. I looked down, but looked back up. My mind shifted.

What did she say? What did I want? How do I make sense of it all?

With this subconscious vision fading, I scratch, I claw, I tear at the dream space, trying to get a hold of that one glimpse of her.

Now I wonder if I should call. If I should try the text message route again. See if she'll answer, write back.

Should I have hope? Should I get excited? Should I wait?

If she wanted to, she could have picked up the phone, typed the message. If she wanted to...

I feel like the forgotten as she runs through my head a constant reminder that she exists...

Yet do I to her? Does my now less than toned physique bound in and out of her head? Do I run in and out a ghost of a time long ago?

Or am I just another number in the contacts? Another name in a long list of people before me and after me?

I want to sleep. So I can dream of her. So I can be happy with her, sad with her, indifferent with her, angry with her, loving with her, sick with her...

So I can be with her.

T.V. Guide

2011-04-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

There's a pattern I've noticed and like most patterns it has a few outliers and miscellaneous gobs of things that don't fit within a neat little package, but it is a very strong pattern none the less.

As the title suggests, this pattern has to do with television and specifically programs on television.

What I've noticed over the years is that programs, or shows whichever you prefer, have a way of growing stale for the viewers over time and I think that there is one significant factor in that idea: Most network T.V. shows if they are awarded a full season get 22 episodes.

This may seem great at first, the show is on for 9 months at a time with a few significant breaks at a time, building the tension around those significant breaks and returns. Season premiere, fall finale, spring premiere, season finale, but what I've noticed is that once a show is on that schedule for several seasons it can get stale or just lackluster very quickly in the creative department.

Here's an example:

I love the U.S. version of The Office deeply and undeniably, but I contest that the bulk of the episodes in the series I could take or leave. They have their moments, don't get me wrong on that, but often they just don't feel like I needed to watch them. They feel less like must-see-T.V. if you know what I mean and more like, "I can wait until this is on Hulu for a few weeks before I watch it kind of T.V."

I argue that most network T.V. shows give me that exact deep feeling and I put this to the world as a theory and a statement I have come to believe as truth: 22 episodes is way too many for a season to be a complete success.

Now, evidence to support my claim. The T.V. shows that get the most buzz, the most chatter, awards, critical praise are generally T.V. shows with 15 or less episodes per season, the evidence:

Current Shows: Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Justified, Burn Notice, Dexter, Weeds, Friday Night Lights, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Cancelled and/or Completed Shows: Deadwood, The Sopranos, Flight of the Conchords

These are just a few examples of the shows that have been able to create an arc and sustain it for + or - 13 episodes a season.

The way they do it? Tight, biting and direct plotting of characters and story lines. There was no pressure for a finale in the middle of a story arc, or such a thing as sweeps week. There is just an ideal story played out in a short burst and able to continue into future episodes and seasons.

It's simply put more succinct with less room for error or lacking episodes mid season. Even their weaker episodes are important toward completing the story arc and not just in between premieres and sweeps.

I would be more happy with a T.V. show on a network that is able to be brave enough as the T.V. shows on cable than one that demands episodes per season. If they could learn to stagger T.V. shows to play the whole year round and also eliminate the need for there to be ten or twelve cop shows being thrown at us every season and create something grittier and more compact, something people are desperate for more of, I think we'd have more The Killing and less Outsourced.

Plus, I doubt, with a truncated line up we'd have to deal with so many different Friends/How I Met Your Mother hybrids (Perfect Couples, Traffic Light).

So I implore anybody that reads here to implore the heads of studios to forgo their rigid 22-25 episode seasons in favor of better television and better episodes because with 13 episodes it has to be the cream of the crop to make the cut of the season.

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 5. The Basketball Game (Season 1)

2011-04-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

First he picks people based on race and age and excludes everyone else which is wonderful to start off with, but the icing of this episode is how incredibly cocky Michael is on the court.

He misses shots, gloats when his teammates make a few baskets, and is an overall nuisance on the court. Michael is one of those people who thinks he knows about something because he loves to do it, but he never practices or tries hard to understand the basics of the game. He just tries the really difficult things and screws up, which makes for great comedy.

Michael's delusional ideas about his skill in literally any field is what makes him hilarious and it also makes him ambitious and a person who strives for perfection even though he goes about it in completely the wrong way.

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 6. Goodbye Toby (Season 4)

2011-04-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

There is a lot of funny in this episode, Michael's shoe money and his going away present for Toby and a great new beginning with Holly coming in as the new H.R. rep, but the moment I'm talking about is the special moment where Michael gets up and sings his "original" song, "Goodbye, Toby"

It packs so much seething hatred for one man into so little time that Michael is actually singing, continuously saying goodbye Toby and rubbing the whole thing in Toby's face is just pure, classic, over the top Michael.

It has never been totally explained why Michael hates Toby so much, but it has made for some of the most hilarious encounters over the entire series of The Office.

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 7. The Fight (Season 2)

2011-04-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

Michael calls his employees his family, but if anybody ever messes with daddy, daddy's gotta throw down the law and keep them in line, as Michael does when he shows Dwight who's boss of the office and the dojo.

I think my favorite part of this fight is when Michael and Dwight get down to it, it's not about hurting each other physically, it's about degrading the other person. Dwight lives in this structured world in his dojo and Michael comes in and shatters that ruled arena and because of course, no one likes Dwight, Ira, the dojo master allows all of Michael's dirty tricks.

In his own twisted way Michael does teach Dwight a lesson in humility, but also learns a lesson himself in that he can't really be the winner if he plays by his own rules. It's a fantastic moment to highlight the relationship of Michael and Dwight and an even funnier moment to watch two grown men "fight" each other in a dojo and both come out losers in the end.

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 7. The 23rd Psalm (Season 2)

2011-04-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

Without a doubt one of the most fascinating and enigmatic characters in all of Lost is Mr. Eko. He was in the tail section, didn't speak for 40 days, carried a stick with scripture written on it and claimed he was a priest.

Yet, with all this we still needed more and finally in this episode his intriguing past was revealed, a boy in Nigeria ripped from his home and all he loved and taught to kill or be killed in a ruthless system of warlords.

As he justified it to himself and Yemi, he only ever did what he needed to do to survive. He created this gruff and slightly psychotic persona in order to be able to live and survive to possibly get out one day. He sought no redemption for himself and felt no fear in the face of incredible forces he could not control whether on the Island or off of it.

The only thing he felt for and indeed I think the only thing he loved and respected was his brother Yemi. His protective nature toward his sibling was overpowering for him and the one day he could not protect Yemi is the day he never saw him alive again.

This one event pushed him into using the rest of his life to honor his brother's memory and I think living as pious a life as possible in order to see him again in the after life. He desperately did not seek God's forgiveness, but he sought Yemi's forgiveness.

His senses were sent into overdrive when he found out that Charlie had a Virgin Mary statue and that it was filled with heroin much like the ones he filled in Nigeria and his quest began. The quest for closure for a chance to ask Yemi for forgivness because he couldn't forgive himself.

He struggled to find peace on the Island because he felt he was no closer to finding peace within himself. He fought within himself for that plateau of human emotion. That closure between the feelings of the past and what he has to do in the future.

One of my favorite scenes in this episode is one that shows just how determined Mr. Eko was and exactly how he imagined his past. The encounter with the smoke monster.

While Charlie begged Mr. Eko to run and hide from the unknown monster. Eko stood there, resolute and determined. He faced the monster as it came billowing out of the jungle and stopped in front of him. We see through the smoke at pictures, snapshots of the past that the smoke monster reads from Eko's mind and I'm assuming determines Eko as a powerful threat or a powerful ally and leaves to find out which he would become.

The fierce gaze of Mr. Eko, the one he hid behind, the one that showed his strength of will was piercing and penetrating for the purpose of ignoring the danger inherent in the unknown. He faced it for the chance at finding his brother.

And when he did, it was everything. He let every emotion flow from him. His sorrow, his pain, his happiness at closure. Everything came to a head as he found his brother lying in the plane he had put him into so many years before.

He had a catharsis at that point, a love for his brother and a way to finally move on. He had found his brother and he had apologized in the only way he knew how and as he and Charlie burned the plane and he put on the cross that was once his, Mr. Eko simply became Eko again. He and Charlie recited the 23rd Psalm for Yemi, but really it was Eko's redemption. It was his ultimate prayer and rededication to his former self and to living the life of a good man.

Everything changed for Eko at this point. He was at peace. The Island is all bout the redemption one can find when they are faced with the ultimate difficulties of their past and bringing to life a new self. A new purpose to their life other than the one they had left behind.

Eko is the embodiment of thisfeeling. He found his existence changed and he let in the change when he accepted his brother's death and the incredible feeling it gave him to be released from that burden he felt in letting Yemi down. He began to live on the Island and to take the peace he felt and put it upon others.

It is such a powerful episode to watch as his personality becomes that of a man at peace with his circumstances and feeling like he has a purpose in preserving the memory of his brother, while rededicating himself to God.

Side Note: While it is not in this episode, I need to reveal a theory for why Eko wasn't present in the flash-sideways world of season 6, besides the real life adventures of the actor who played him. At the end of The Cost of Living, which does not appear on this list, the last scene is of Eko and Yemi as children, walking down a path in Nigeria and I have postulated that this is Eko and Yemi's version of the afterlife. This is their place. The place where they can be together forever. Yemi was the only person Eko truly loved so it makes sense he would end up there instead of in L.A. with the rest.

A Quick Update: March

2011-04-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

I had another hefty month of movie watching. It was only one less than last month, clocking in at 46 movies seen in March. I have an error to correct, seems I miscalculated and was one off of the grand total the last two months, so here it is the grand total of 2011 so far: 134 movies seen and no repeats thus far. I'm hoping to keep it that way too. So, without further adieu, I present the list of films complete with ratings on a Netflix star scale. Some were bad and some were incredible, but I assure you I saw them all, all the way through.

Fish Tank (5)
Grown Ups (1)
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) (3)
Repo Men (3)
Lenny (5)
Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel) (5)
The Adjustment Bureau (4)
Monsters (5)
Cedar Rapids (4)
Sophie Scholl: The Final Days (5)
Canadian Bacon (3)
Splice (3)
Raise the Red Lantern (4)
Charade (4)
Cop Out (2)
25th Hour (5)
Wedding Crashers (5)
The Thing (5)
The Naked Gun (3)
Kicking and Screaming (1995) (3)
The Inglorious Bastards (1)
MacGruber (2)
Ran (5)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (4)
Sudden Impact (4)
Micmacs (5)
Paul (5)
The Killers (5)
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (5)
Blade II (2)
Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask (3)
Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (5)
Escape from New York (3)
The Virgin Suicides (4)
Sanjuro (5)
Manhattan Murder Mystery (5)
Bananas (5)
Zelig (5)
Casino (3)
The Illusionist (2010) (5)
Leaving Las Vegas (3)
Tin Cup (2)
The Purple rose of Cairo (4)
Crimes and Misdemeanors (5)
Manhattan (5)
In the Mood for Love (5)

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 8. Depression Demonstration (Season 3)

2011-03-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

After being called names and feeling like there is no real danger in the office environment, Michael and Dwight devise a strategy and little skit to detail the dangers of depression in the workplace, chock full of ridiculous dialogue and a speech capped off by a quick, "Dwight, you ignorant slut!" We all think Michael's demonstration is just a joke.

Then the gang finds Michael's bouncy house he is going to attempt to jump in for the finale shocker of his skit. Of course, he won't be find if he jumps into the castle, but suddenly his mentality about the situation shifts and he is starting to contemplate actually jumping to his death and it becomes a moment for the whole office and Darryl to try and talk Michael down.

It is fascinating to watch Michael as he actually delves deep into his real problems and provides more insight into his problems than we think he is aware of most of the time. He goes to a very dark place and it is a very intriguing moment in the life of the character that we have up until this point always percieved as unaware of himself and how people think of him.

I Don't Own an iPhone, Can I Still Live?

2011-03-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

I love Apple products. I think they are great tools with excellent programs and functions and it is rare that I have a problem with my Mac products.

That being said, I don't own an iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch. Why? You ask, since I'm obviously not a Mac lover if I don't own their best products, but consider this, as the Energizer ads stress to us: they're the same product with slight differences between them.

And here's the two differences, they're different sizes and one makes phone calls. I know shocking, but true. These "products" are just another set of mobile devices designed to distract, derail and devolve our lives.

"But look at all I can do!" You shout from behind the product that bears that famous logo. Fantastic! when was the last time you took a walk, sat in a room or were out and about without checking your phone/pad/pod touch for updates?

When did you last experience a day without worrying what @famouscelebrity thinks about the state of the oil industry that you'll think about for a second and then ignore anyway?

My happiest moments are when I don't have to worry about the technology that ensnares my life and distracts me from living it. I almost welcome a day when I can't go on a time wasting website or play mahjong on my phone anymore.

Why can't we get back to the simple pleasures of ignoring the big hazardous distraction that is the technology we clutter our lives with and just live.

I don't know, maybe I'm taking it out on phone/pad/pod touch users, but I'm really thinking about myself. I like to read tweets and find great recipes when I Stumbleupon but it's time for me to start learning those recipes and doing something to merit a real tweet.

If I don't own an iPhone, then I don't own an iPhone and I actually think my life is the better for it because I just wouldn't look up and I would miss what is so much more important in life.

I leave you with words by Ezra Pound:

'And the days are not full enough'

And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
                Not shaking the grass.

I found this on: http://web.cs.dal.ca/~johnston/poetry/daysnotfull.html

My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 9. Jan's Deposition (Season 4)

2011-03-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

To be deposed as a witness against the company you still work for on behalf of the woman you get to have sex with is supposed to be a trying time in a person's life, but for Michael Scott it ends up being a train wreck of epic proportions.

His private diary is read and it reads like a high school girl's, he tries to tell a joke and no one gets it, all his mistakes since the beginning of the relationship are exposed and become raw, and in the end his own boss's testimony is used to try to sway him to another side.

Eventually, Michael makes the decision that is the least expected and also just as bad a choice, but being a naive person he chooses Dunder Mifflin, his home away from home rather than Jan. I somewhat respect his decision, but on the other hand his loyalty to Dunder Mifflin is founded on what he perceives as mutual respect, but is nowhere near that.

At alternate times this is a very funny moment and a very sad and reflective moment for Michael and one where he starts to at least try and stand up for himself.

My My Favorite Michael Scott Moments: 10. Threat Level Midnight (Season 7)

2011-03-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Despite some of the critics I've read, seeing this gloriously terrible movie that took Michael several years to write and film with some of our favorite Dunder Mifflinites throughout the years making appearances. It was a true tribute to the fans.

I love it as a Michael Scott moment because whether or not he is writing the best movie in the world or not, Michael Scott has confidence that his movie is great. It is that confidence and naivete that keeps me coming back to the show, but the icing on the cake is when Michael is able to laugh at himself. When he learns something from the experience and to not take his dreams too seriously sometimes.

Now everybody do the Scarn!

I wanted to add a video, but seriously just watch the episode.

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 8. Do No Harm (Season 1)

2011-03-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

There are so many stellar qualities in Jack Shephard that we see throughout this first season of Lost that it is incredible to watch when these qualities become a madness in him an obsession. He has this overwhelming desire to fix things.

We watch throughout the seasons as this flaw develops, but here as is also scattered throughout the first season is when it is shown to us most explicitly. His only way of dealing with things, his reaction coupled with this desire pushes him away from the group and into a very dark place.

In the episode we watch as he looks at the situation with Boone and barks orders to everyone around him. That snap into action, that old reaction again. He quickly fixes Boone's breathing problem, but takes little time to assess the rest before he sets Boone's broken leg.

All the while Kate is headed to the beach and back to the caves with alcohol for Boone and the sterilization of his wounds and the instruments, when she hears Claire moaning in pain. Surprise! The baby's coming.

I think I realized at this point that Boone could die in this episode. I never loved Boone. I never thought he was heroic, but let me tell you he is one of the most honorable castaways with the best of intentions. Most of his plans were quashed because as he tried to help, he didn't think his idea through all the way, but his heart was always in the right place.

At this point though I couldn't fathom them losing Boone. I thought Island miracle. Bound to be one or two left in the old girl, but the old theme of new life comes out of death was ringing through my head. That baby was coming.

Jack of course passes on that duty to Kate as he is busy with Boone, that is he is taking charge of the situation by doing a blood transfusion that he hopes will save him. This is truly where the idea of this episode shines to me.

Jack is so desperate to prove that he can truly fix things and make them right again, contrasted with the nuptials which we know won't work out in the end. He wants to repeat that miracle. So desperately he wants to recreate the circumstances of his greatest triumph as a person, that he would give his own life to see it.

He thinks that this one great thing. This one brilliant maneuver will redeem him in some way. Whether he would admit it at this point or not Jack seeks redemption. Redemption for the way his marriage ending, for his relationship with his father disintegrating, for generally thinking he deserves to demand anything from the people he loves after so much he has put them through.

Jack thought he had earned some semblance of this at his wedding when he tells Sarah that she fixed him, but she didn't. She was the band-aid on his broken leg and he used her as such, searching for the next big move he could make, the next band-aid.

He used her as he is using Boone, to prove to himself and to a greater extent to his father that he can hack it, that he has what it takes. Even though his father is dead he still seeks desperately for that approval, the nod and the pat on the back.

Since seeing the Man in Black impersonate his father, Jack had become a shell again looking for a way to fix it. To fix what he had done to drive his father to his grave. He sought him out and desperately wanted his guidance.

It can be seen throughout the flashback as Jack constantly looks at doors and wants to see his father coming toward him. It's that desperate need for approval that drives him toward his own grave as he strives to save Boone.

We watch his mind work its way around the compartment syndrome conundrum and we watch as he makes one last plan in a last ditch effort to save Boone's life. He enlists Michael and they ready the cargo door to slice through Boone's leg.

This is my favorite scene in the whole of the episode. Jack is ready to let the door swing down for the amputation, but Boone stops him. Jack pleads with Boone telling him he can fix him, but Boone recites a phrase from Jack's past (one that we don't know at this point in the series) and tells Jack he's letting him off the hook.

Boone knows of his very fatal condition even with the amputation he could still die. He bravely tells him to let it go. He tells the man that holds everything inside himself to let this one go. It is the scene that redeems Boone in my eyes and helps me see him in another light. We also get to see how much stress this puts on Jack.

He thought he needed this one. He thought he had to do this. Not necessarily that it was his destiny, but, as I have mentioned before, for the approval he seeks, for the tumult in his soul. His last act for Boone is to close his eyes.

And yes, little baby Aaron pops out of his mommy at that point to say hello to the Island. Completing the cycle of life and death. Whether you think it's cliched or not that idea holds true in many cases.

I think on of the best slow montages set to music that Lost has ever done comes soon after as baby Aaron is presented to the camp and Jack delivers the bad news to Shannon, who had just come back from a romantic getaway with Sayid. I lose it every time I watch Shannon's hand drop from Sayid's and later as she weeps over the corpse of Boone.

I think this trial attempted to show Jack that he can let go, that he cannot control everything, but Jack throws the lesson out in that last scene as he makes it his mission to find Locke and presumably beat an answer out of him as to why he lied.

Throughout the series we have to watch as time and again Jack struggles with letting go, his overwhelming sense of trying to fix things, and his useless, desperate quest for approval. None more so in this tense and poignant episode where he is forced to let go and mistakes it for weakness.

A Quick Update: February

2011-02-28T22:27:00.000-08:00

Another month, another batch of movies scene and some I wish had remained unseen. This month was actually one of another record breaking kind of month. I suppose not having a job gives one the immense free time I have come to take for granted. So, without much more rambling I saw a whopping 47 movies this month with no repeats. this brings my total up to 87 for 2011, so far. If I keep up this pace I might retire because I don't think I'd ever beat this record again.

Here are the titles with ratings:

Death at a Funeral (U.S., 2010) (3)
Johnny Mnemonic (1)
Criminal (4)
My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? (4)
Rabbit Hole (5)
SLC Punk (2)
Henry Fool (4)
Futurama: Bender's Game (5)
How to Train Your Dragon (4)
Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs (5)
Wonderful World (2)
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder (5)
Stalag 17 (4)
Every Little Step (4)
Perrier's Bounty (3)
Futurama: Bender's Big Score (5)
Somewhere (3)
Mars Attacks (4)
The Negotiator (3)
Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein (4)
Brazil (5)
Robin Hood (3)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (3)
Carlos (5)
Last Year at Marienbad (5)
Being John Malkovich (5)
Nacho Libre (4)
Mystery Men (4)
Calvin Marshall (3)
Toy Story 3 (5)
127 Hours (5)
The Kids Are All Right (5)
True Grit (5)
The Fighter (5)
In the Line of Fire (2)
Falling Down (3)
The Maid (4)
Princess Mononoke (5)
The Elephant Man (4)
Bob Roberts (5)
The Killer Inside Me (2)
Big Night (4)
Barney's Version (3)
Homicide (5)
All About Eve (5)
Catch-22 (4)
The Maltese Falcon (5)

A Little Oscar Ramble

2011-02-21T19:40:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have neglected this blog for a while, but I have got to start talking Oscars, so I hope you don't mind a little ramble and a little peak at my ballot for my favorite obsession's big night.

First off, I don't think The King's Speech should win and it has nothing to do with how I didn't think Avatar should win anything.

It's because while it is a very good movie I feel like it is the same movie Oscar has always told us is deserving of recognition. The central performance is great (period), but if I had a real choice I would switch Jeff Bridges and Colin Firth from last year and this year.

Bridges pulls off the drunken cowboy much better in True Grit and Colin Firth has the single best performance of his career in A Single Man.

Back on track, it's just that the rest of the film feels much too similar in style and scope to several films recognized before it.

If I were allowed to vote in the Academy Awards' Best Picture category my list would look like this:

1. Inception
2. 127 Hours
3. The Social Network
4. Black Swan
5. The Kids Are All Right
6. The Fighter
7. Winter's Bone
8. True Grit
9. Toy Story 3
10. The King's Speech

I put Inception at the top because it not only challenges me as a viewer, but it's technically gorgeous in each shot, the story is fresh, it has intriguing characters and an intriguing world which they inhabit.

Am I filling in the bubble of my play along at home ballot for Inception? Of course not because it's not going to win. Do I want to eat my words? Yes! That's why for 7 out of the 8 categories it's nominated for I filled in that bubble (Art Direction, Cinematography, Original Score, Sound Editing. Sound Mixing, Visual Effects, and Original Screenplay). It really is that good.

So, since I put 127 Hours second it must be that little beauty I picked, not true. I deeply deeply love this film I think it is the best film of the year (Inception is my favorite, but not the best) and it is the best because of Mr. James Franco. He is funny, heroic, humble, heartbreaking and utterly stunning as Aron Ralston. It is a powerhouse performance and a knockout film in every which way you spin it.

Which is why, I crossed out the bubble I had originally filled in for Colin Firth and put that black ink into the one next to James Franco's name. In my opinion the award should go to the best performance of the year and it is hands down James Franco. that being said I also picked the gorgeous "If I Rise," because when that song comes up my tear ducts emptied.

Now we get to the film I picked as Best Picture. The Social Network. I loved this film the crackling wit, (a vote for Aaron Sorkin's Adapted Screenplay) the way the talkiness is reigned in by a master craftsman who leaves his mark on every scene, (a vote for David Fincher as Best Director), and the way the language is never clipped, but leads from cut to cut in the most brilliant way possible without leaving us with repetition or wallowing in each scene (a vote for Film Editing). All of this equals to me a supreme cinematic experience that leaves all of those exploding blockbusters in the dust with the fact that it is an intellectual talker and knows it.

It is the movie that punctuates this era and is the perfect film to represent 2010 as a year, as a milestone and simply the cream of the crop of filmmaking available.

Before I go into the other major categories I just want to say that too often it is a crap shoot for me in some categories because they put films in that I haven't seen or didn't like or didn't want to see or simply didn't get a fair chance to see, but I have to vote anyway. It's a compulsion so here's a rundown of minor categories:

Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland- The costumes in the preview looked astounding and I was surprised it wasn't nominated for makeup, which is why...

Makeup: The Wolfman- Pretty bad movie, pretty great makeup.

Documentary Feature: Restrepo- I have only seen one other one of these, but Restrepo is one of the greatest films I have seen and it is an incredible portrait of modern warfare told and shot with the people who live it.

Documentary Short: Killing in the Name- a pundit said it will win.

Animated Short: The Gruffalo- a pundit said it will win.

Live Action Short: The Confession- a pundit said it will win.

Foreign Language Film: In a Better World- I saw Dogtooth, but that is the darkest dark horse I have ever seen and the pundits say Biutiful is not all it's cracked up to be, so since this one won the Golden globe and I saw the trailer and it looks brilliant, here we stand.

Now, Animated Feature is usually the easiest to predict, pick the Pixar movie, but as we saw with Cars a few years ago, it can happen that they can lose. Yet, Toy Story 3 is not Cars it is an utterly brilliant masterpiece of the animated film genre. If anything my generation can appreciate that more than anything. It is well written, extremely beautiful and honestly the Academy needs to get off their butts and create a voice acting category because Timothy Dalton knocked it out of the park.

As for best actress, every time I used to see Annette Being on screen I used to want to tear my hair out, but I loved her in The Kids Are All Right, which makes me sad to say that Natalie Portman blows her out of the water.

Black Swan would not be the movie it is without that incredible central performance. She is simply the best actress of this year or any year in my opinion. She is fantastic, graceful, tormented, and evil. I loved the performance and I loved the movie because of her.

That being said in the case of Supporting Actor and Actress I think The Fighter would have nothing if it weren't for the out of this world great performances by Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. They left no scenery for Mark Wahlberg to digest much less chew and in the case of Amy Adams, I love, love love her in this film, but she is also out matched by her co-star. It is a superb film that would be absolutely nothing without these two.

So, there you have it. The ins the outs, the whys and the why nots. I hope my ballot is completely correct, but no matter how much I prepare, read the pundits, look at the stats, I am always caught off guard by a twist, which is sometimes happy, sometimes disappointing, but always set in stone at the end of the night.

I'll be back on Sunday or possibly on Monday with how I think the show went and what i was disappointed with because there's always something.

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 9. The Long Con (Season 2)

2011-02-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

I love this particular episode of Lost because like all good episodes, it is a very intricate plot that delves deep into the lives of the Island dwellers and bucks the dynamics of the Island power structure.

I used to love to hate Sawyer. I am sure most of us did when season 1 kicked off, but this episode added a layer of respect to that gruff feeling of doubt about his character.

Sawyer dropped out of school in the ninth grade and yet he was able to cheat two very smart men out of their valuables by using their emotions against each other. He was so quick to formulate his plan.

I love watching this episode at the beginning, after having watched it all the way through because you can catch all the minute details of this brilliant plan. Like when Sawyer finds Jack rooting through his tent and then Kate comes by, we can see the gears start to turn and the formulation of a plan in his head as he goads Kate on with information.

One thing Sawyer knows is how to get people to do what he wants because he is a keen observer of human nature. Like a people watcher he knows things about people that they won't admit to anyone. He sees their weakness as he watches from afar.

Even the flashback throws us, the audience, at first because we suspect that this is the one time that Sawyer screws up. This is the one time he thinks with his heart instead of his head. Every time I watch this episode, I expect that Gordie is going to be in the car outside of Cassidy's house.

Every time I want Sawyer to become a real man in that situation, but every time he takes the money. He completes the con. Which is why I was surprised the first time I saw the episode when Sawyer has the guns at the end.

He had started acting so nice to other people, started becoming a part of the group, but he threw it away. He looked the group dynamic in the eye and threw it back in their faces and I think it's because he feel if he is not hated by someone for something, he is not doing penance for what he did to all the people in the real world.

He has this warped notion that even after he gets a fresh start on the Island, he can't forgive himself and won't let anyone else forgive him for what he did. He doesn't seek redemption because he feels he doesn't deserve it and he hides behind a facade of devilish rogue so that no one will try to get close to him.

All this is why I love the scene toward the end of the episode as Sawyer fires a few bullets into the air and walks out of the jungle with a rifle. Everyone was starting to be O.K. with him, even like him after what he did on the raft to try and save Walt, so he shows them that he doesn't need them and he shows them that facade once again. I will include what he says here because it is intriguing:

Sawyer: That's right Jack, he's as stupid as you are. Now how about you listen up, because I am only going to say this once. You took my stuff. While I was off trying to get us help. To get us rescued. You found my stash, and you took it. My shaving cream, my batteries, and even my beer. And then something else happened.
[Points at Locke and Jack]
Sawyer: You decided that these two boys here were going to tell you what to do, and when to do it. Well I'm done taking orders. And I don't want my stuff back. Hell shaving cream don't matter, batteries don't matter. The only thing that matters now is guns. And if you want one you're going to have to come to me to get it!
[Looks at Sayid and sees that he is mad]
Sawyer: Oh you want to torture me now don't you? Show everybody how civilized you are. Go ahead; but I'll die before I give them back. Then you'll really be screwed won't ya? There's a new sheriff in town boys! Ya'll best get used to it.

Sawyer becomes, in the camp's mind, the only hurdle toward subduing their enemy in The Others and that is exactly the way he wants it. In his perverted way, Sawyer is actually protecting his fellow castaways. He is protecting them from themselves. He knows as we do that both Jack and Locke would go to war with each other over how to go to war with The Others.

Some may see it as self-preservation, but I see it as Sawyer's attempt to keep everyone at arms length, while protecting them, the only way he knows how. I may be wrong, but this is my opinion about this incident.

I believe that the the actual long con of the episode title is Sawyer trying desperately to prove to the other castaways that he doesn't care while he is actually the one force on the Island, between Jack and Locke, truly keeping them safe from harm. One should recognize that after this incident with the guns, no more did The Others attack the group together.

Most of what I say here is highly interpretive, but my interpretation of Sawyer is why I love this episode enough to put it on this list. It is a fantastic story line and an intriguing twist on the character dynamics of the show.

A Quick Update: January

2011-01-31T23:07:00.000-08:00

So far this year is shaping up well. I am getting off to a great start on my movie watching. In January I saw a grand total of 40 movies and I had no repeats... within this one month, which is great. So without further adieu, here are the 40 movies I saw, complete with Netflix ratings.

Inception (5)
Insomnia (5)
RoboCop (2)
Withnail and I (4)
Assassination of a High School President (3)
I'm Still Here (3)
Ajami (5)
August (2)
Despicable Me (4)
Easy A (4)
Catfish (5)
The Jerk (5)
Chaos Theory (4)
Iron Man 2 (4)
Splinterheads (4)
Spirited Away (5)
Darkon (4)
The Cove (5)
She's Out of My League (4)
The Hustler (5)
The Green Hornet (3)
The Social Network (5)
Restrepo (5)
The Shining (5)
I Am Love (3)
The Dry Land (2)
2046 (5)
Predators (3)
The Road Warrior (4)
Lethal Weapon 2 (3)
An American Werewolf in London (5)
The Conversation (5)
Kramer vs. Kramer (5)
Animal Kingdom (5)
Dogtooth (4)
Our Hospitality (5)
Sherlock Jr. (5)
Blue Valentine (5)
Valhalla Rising (3)
Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (3)
Barry Munday (3)

My Super Bowl

2011-01-25T11:33:00.000-08:00

Every year it happens and every year I get ready in the same fashion. I go to the theater, I read the reviews, I pay attention to the other awards giving organizations and I wait. i wait for that list of films that are this year's Academy Awards nominees.

This year they came and I saw. I have already seen all of the best picture nominees as is usually what I try to do (Except last year when The Blind Side was nominated. I still haven't seen that one.) and I am rarely disappointed when I do this.

Going to see great films in the theater is something that is an unforgettable experience and sometimes regrettable experience and this year I am proud to say that no matter which of the nominees win I am happy. They are all truly superior films in their own way and showcase a masterclass of acting, directing and writing. That being said, let's talk about snubs.

I don't normally dwell on snubs (Although I am sure I have a post somewhere on this blog about The Dark Knight not being a Best Picture contender in 2008) and I will try not to this year, but there is something I must bring up.

No matter how great the writing and technical precision is in Inception, it all would not have come together if it weren't for Christopher Nolan, so why Academy, when you've recognized his brilliant film in so many categories, do you have to snub the man's work behind the lens? Plus, after the ground-breaking Oscar for Kathryn Bigelow last year, the Academy cannot recognize the outstanding work of Debra Granik or Lisa Cholodenko both of whom have their pictures in the big race? Come on!

I mean, I love all those guys in the directing category, but it is a sausage fest category that could use a few ladies to spice things up.

Well, we can argue all day about who they didn't nominate, but I really want to heap praise on them for who they did nominate.

Winter's Bone was on several top lists at the end of this year, but in the major awards battle it was losing, so I am excited to see that it made the Oscar's short list for Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay, Supporting Actor and Lead Actress. It is a wonderful film and deserves these nominations.

I also want to praise the Academy for picking 127 Hours in quite a few major categories because it is a film that is phenomenal and deserves to be shown as such.

Well folks, the playoffs are nearly over and we know who's going to the big show next month, so make your picks as carefully as I will make mine and we'll see who wins and who just has the honor of being nominated.

This Is Your Life

2011-01-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

This is Your Life

I long for the flesh,
your flesh,
against mine.

Just a press,
a touch,
please.

My screen flickers,
your face fades,
but I move in a cursory way.

It's bright.
Skin silky and white.
Lips I want to bite, gently.

You have me rhyming.
I want you.
I don't want this,

Emotionless, distancing, hardware,
keeping us.
I need you.

I want you.
Come, come come,
to me.

You don't have a name, I know.
I see your picture,
I know I want you.

You're not real.
Every part of you,
will never exist with me.

Our conversations,
contemplations,
rumentations,

all fake.
I made it up.
You don't like,

what I like.
You like,
what you like.

The person I need
you to be
is not,

who you are,
it's what I want.
I wish

you would stop
smiling.
It makes me feel

so good, but
so, so, terrible.
I will close

my eyes
and dream of
who I want you to be.

It is the only way
You'd ever, ever
talk to me.

I found this picture, which inspired this poem, on Oblongata

My 10 Favorite Lost Episodes: 10. The Incident (Season 5)

2011-01-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

When the first scenes of this episode played I had no idea what was going on, but I was intrigued. This was our first glimpse of Jacob, the Man in Black, and the actual Tawaret statue that in the time of the Oceanic castaways has been reduced to only one foot.

It was an incredible scene and one that truly sets up that the Island is something more than just a weird place in the Pacific. It is a place where a war for power is raging and by the end of the episode, we know that one side has gained an advantage over the other.

I love this episode because it most closely deals, almost more than any other episode, with the idea that the survivors of flight Oceanic 815 actually have a destiny. They really were on the Island for a reason.

My favorite part of the entire episode has to be all of the flashbacks of Jacob visiting his candidates and not visiting one important one. He touches each of them, signifying their place either to come back to the Island or that their choices in the future will lead them to the Island.

They are very quiet scenes that we all knew existed, but could never quite see until they were presented to us. How John Locke survived his fall, what one choice sent Kate on a path of crime, why a rift grew between Christian and Jack Shephard, why Sayid thought he needed to work for Ben, the beginning of Sun and Jin's life together, Ilana's need to protect the Island, Hurley's decision to return to the Island and the fact that Juliet felt the way she id about the bomb because she didn't believe in true love any more or that she believed in it too much and young James running out of ink on the fateful letter he would eventually complete.

I doubt I did those in order, but the important thing to see is that these people, whether they knew it or not had a purpose and several of them figured out that the purpose might be to be the cause of the Incident that frightened the DHARMA Initiative into creating the station that eventually crashed their plane.

It is a lot to handle, but the mantra of whatever happened, happened can absolutely be applied to this situation. They were always meant to be there and they always would.

It is a fascinating and wonderful episode for the drama that plays out in the minds of each character as they eventually all decide that what Jack is doing is the most important thing they can do. To save everyone they care about.

I love that in this episode, after seasons of tension and glares from Jack to Sawyer and vice versa, they finally have the knock down drag out fight. It is a little less satisfying and more tragic at this point because we have come to love both of these characters and their leadership abilities so to watch as they pummel each other is to watch as two people you love fight. It is a hard scene to watch because we, as the audience, really don't know who to root for because we have no clue who is actually right in this situation.

What's right and wrong are blurred throughout this episode especially in the last few scenes where Ben and "Locke" confront Jacob. Always the man to stay out of the way of human affairs Jacob lets what is going to happen to him, happen. Ben gives his heartfelt speech and ends with "What about me?" Then I love when Jacob is able to belittle the man we, as an audience, have come to fear and sometimes loathe. He simply says, "What about you?"

It is a fantastic scene in which we watch Ben lose all of the power he has had in the span of seconds. He becomes just another pawn in the Man in Black's scheme. Enabling him to move forward and in his hopes outward from the Island.

All these scenes and mythologies in this episode are fantastic, but the only one that sticks in my mind and the only one that makes this episode more than just a television episode is the scene where Juliet is dragged into the shaft.

Every time I hear the initial scream of surprise as she is knocked off her feet by the chains, the surprise and fear floods through me. Then as Sawyer and Kate struggle to hang on, the recognition of the end of Juliet comes over me once again. I watch Sawyer pleads for her to hang on and she screams in pain. Their I love you and her goodbye have me sobbing. To know nothing else at that point, but our greatest fear for the character I weep for her death.

It is undoubtably one of the hardest scenes to watch, but even harder than that is the ending where Juliet is pleading with the nuke to explode as she hits it over and over again. To know she is sacrificing herself for all of the people above her and to know that she knows this is the end gets me started all over again.

This episode is one of the best set ups for a new season I have ever seen and I am thinking I will ever see.

Brain Malfunction

2011-01-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

I wish I could know what it is like to not have my subconscious hate me, but I can't seem to shake its cold, bitter grasp. Its torturous, bloody grip on my psyche.

She showed up again last night. She came in as someone else, but I left with the most unmistakable sensation that it was her. I hate this. I hate that three fucking years later she is still there or at least my subconscious projection of her.

Why? Why can't I have a dream and move on? Why can't I just wake up, say, "That was weird," and move on with my day?

Why can't I wake up and have a job? Why can't I wake up and do the things I love? Why can't I do this, that and the other?

I want peace. I want happiness.

Would pills help? My mom's on antidepressants and she can't feel. I want to feel I just don't want to feel this. I don't want this.

Plans. Fuck plans. Fuck spontaneity. I'm inadequate at both 'cause I am so much in my fucking head.

Why can't I dream about the one I want? Why can't I have it my way?

Me, me, me. I hate this selfishness. I hate that I can't understand. I hate that I can't have the ones I want. I, I, I

I'm a washed up never was, crying to people that say it'll get better. Now? Soon.

Bullshit. Don't lose hope. Fuck you. Hang in there. Go get your paycheck and leave me alone.

I'm not even mad at them. They are doing what their supposed to do. They're "supporting" me. What am I doing?

I wish she was out and she was in. I want... I want... but what do I need? Do I need of anything? Am I as big a burden as I think I am?

I have to finish everything I started. For me. For them.

Happiness will come. Pressure will come. Evil paper will enter my life.

A New Way for the New Year

2011-01-03T14:33:00.000-08:00

So, I was thinking about the entire series of Lost and how I should really get cracking on my ten favorite episodes of all time. Then I thought. Why just post them all at once when I can do them over ten days.

Then I thought, no even better, what if I could stretch them out over the year. That is when this idea was born.

I will be doing a top ten list, counting down to my favorite episode of the series, but I am going to do it from 1/08 to 10/8. Because this date is coming up fast, this Saturday in fact, I will be working fast to complete the list and get a new post out and to the world.

After the first post the next one will be on 2/3=23, then, 3/16=Ajira 316, 4/2=42, 5/1=5-1=4, 6/2=8, 7/8=15, 8/15=Oceanic 815, 9/7=16.

I am really excited to get this list out in a very interesting way that I hope all of you will enjoy as well.

Year End Statistics

2011-01-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

Here it is for all you cinephiles or closet cinephiles, the statistics for how I watched all those films in 2010.

On DVD that I own or that someone else owns and I watched: 43 movies

Through Internet streaming:
Netflix: 145
Hulu: 2

Through rental agencies:
Netflix: 144
Blockbuster: 19

OnDemand (Comcast): 6

And finally, in theaters: 50

So that's it. another great year of film watching bliss. I am hoping to continue to watch and love film in 2011 as well. Watch for the Quick Update posts for every month throughout the year.

It has landed!

2011-01-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

After months of speculation and conjecture, 365 Days of Film has arrived and it is here to stay, at least until December 31st. If you want to check it out or avoid it the URL is http://ayearoffilm.blogspot.com/

It will have pictures and a video to go with each post. As always I strongly encourage comments and questions in the blog, but as for what's coming, you'll just have to follow it and see.

A Quick Update: December

2011-01-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

Well, here it is. The last month of 2010's seen movies. I really did not plan on blowing my old number from last year completely out of the water, but I guess having near unlimited free time can take its toll.

So the numbers are for December are... (drum roll)... 40 movies seen and no repeats! Boom babay!

This brings my total for the year that was 2010 to 409 movies seen and only 7 of those did I repeat. My goodness I had a lot of will power to not see so many movies twice.

Anywho I will have a full break down of my stats as to where and how I saw movies this year for you sometime later today, but for now, enjoy the ratings and the titles of the films I saw in December. Enjoy it now because a whole new game and a whole new challenge starts today on the first day of 2011.

Centurion (2)
Tommy Boy (5)
Sin Nombre (5)
La Vie En Rose (5)
Amadeus (5)
Mary and Max (5)
A History of Violence (5)
The Hit (5)
Red Beard (5)
Please Give (4)
Black Swan (5)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (4)
You Only Live Twice (4)
The Right Stuff (3)
The Killer (2)
The Trotsky (4)
The Lookout (4)
The Man Who Knew Too Much (5)
The Fighter (5)
The Gold Rush (5)
Tron: Legacy (4)
Big Fish (5)
Waiting for Guffman (5)
Midnight Run (3)
The 'Burbs (4)
The Kid (5)
Exit Through the Gift Shop (5)
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (5)
Make Way for Tomorrow (5)
The Extra Man (3)
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (5)
True Grit (2010) (5)
Witness for the Prosecution (5)
E.T. the Extra Terrestrial (4)
The King's Speech (5)
Dead Man Walking (4)
Gods and Monsters (3)
Das Boot (5)
King Kong (1933) (4)
Death to Smoochy (2)

My Favorite Movies 2010

2010-12-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

I don't live in New York, L.A. or really any major U.S. or foreign city, so I cannot see everything that is offered to those cinema goers, but I see my fair share thanks to gas money and gumption.

These are the cream of the crop of what I saw this year at the theater. I am going to put them in alphabetical order, but I guarantee ladies and germs, there is no ranking here. So, sit back and enjoy this yearly treat that I bring you a whole month early this year (I decided not to wait until I had seen everything 2010 had to offer because I have a pretty strong list of everything I saw within the year.)

127 Hours- I love this film. I did not expect to, but I came out of that theater with absolute love in my heart for this film. Yes it had the gruesome arm cutting, but it is still a gorgeous tale of the triumph of the human spirit. I found myself cheering Aron Ralston on at the end of the film, even though I know he makes it I still was screaming encouragement in my head, "Go! Go! You can make it! Go!"

The American- It is quiet, meditative and lacking a lot of action set pieces. It is the perfect film to watch after the cacophony of the summer blockbuster season. There is something about a film that takes time to show the different levels and techniques of a craft and the detail the craftsman puts into the object that make me love this film because while the man can repair the machine, can he repair his soul?

Black Swan- Really the only word i can find that sums up all the elements of this film, the good, the evil, the white, the black, is gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. It is a perfect blend of psychosis and paranoia mixed with a "what the frak is going on?" attitude. I love the performances. I love the technicality. I love this film from beginning to end.

Easy A- This film helped to cement my crush on Emma Stone. She is funny, witty, quick and very heartfelt in her performance as a high school girl who used to be in the shadows and is suddenly propelled into the pounding wheels of the rumor mill. Although she is brilliant, her parents, played with fantastic oddball behavior by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson are the icing on this delicious cake.

The Fighter- When I saw this film I did not know what really to expect. I had never heard the details of this true story or of any of its participants, but I came out of it with a love for its use of TV cameras to capture the boxing scenes and for all of the supporting players including the always underrated and forgotten Jack McGee. This film's title not only says who the man is, but is a metaphor for how he has had to live with his always overbearing and sometimes smothering family.

Get Low- This film is a return to the form of Robert Duvall that we got a taste of last year in The Road and Crazy Heart. His old coot is sometimes nasty, sometimes sweet, but altogether original and fantastically great. That first image will stick with me forever as well. The burning house with the lone figure jumping out of the top window.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1- The tone of this segment of the Harry Potter franchise finally embraces all of the darkness that is surrounding these young characters. I love that it never held back any of the imagery, the hurt and the pain of the chase and becoming a fugitive and despite all of this I love the humor that is still found throughout these dire images. Especially when ron forgets that he is not actually married to the woman he has to pretend to be married to.

Inception- Everybody ready?: BRAAAAAHM! I honestly don't know how Chrisopher Nolan can keep topping himself in scope, story and visual effects. He is a fantastic writer and director and this film is a masterpiece of suspense and really the auteur blockbuster of our time. I still am not sure what it all means, but does it matter when the result is a thrilling and truly wonderful film experience?

Kick-Ass- The superhero genre was always meant to understand what it is to be a hero and to stand up for what is right, but what it never tells you is that to do that, you better have a superpower because being stabbed hurts like hell. This film is filled with funny and fun scenes of the foibles of vigilantism and also it is filled with the idea of a community. To find that one group we truly belong with in this world. Plus a bazooka, because who would not need a bazooka?

The Kids are All Right- I usually can't stand Annette Bening, but when she sings that Joni Mitchell song I was on the brink of tears of joy. This film is more than its character's sexual orientation. It is about family, loyalty and love. It is at many times sweet as it is at many times really funny. To be human is to err and all of these characters are undeniably and irrevocably human.

The King's Speech- I didn't think I would like this film because of the let's be honest, kind of cheesy feel-good movie trailer, but I found it was so much more than its trailer and it is proof that lat year's Oscar nomination for Colin firth was no fluke. The man can act and he is brilliant as King George VI. Often times very funny, but always moving this film really is in style of filmmaking a great one to watch. We get those fuzzy out of focus scenes that emulate the fog of London into a fog of the confidence of our main character and the clarity when he finally is able to get it right.

Let Me In- As a remake of a fantastic Swedish film I thought little of this picture when I first heard about it, but the central performances and the willingness to keep the storm, but repurpose the still of filmmaking help this film to stand alone of its original. I still have that unbroken P.O.V. shot of Richard Jenkins in the car playing through my head because the movie is worth it for that shot alone.

Mother- I have become a big fan of Korean cinema over the last few years and this film is no exception to my fandom. I love watching a slow descent into madness and fervor for a cause one believes in and to watch the poor mother of an accused murder try desperately and by any means necessary to prove her son's innocence is an astounding and fantastic work of art. I love it when at the beginning of the film as the title character is dancing in the field over the opening credits. It sets the film up as a "what am I going to see?" type of picture.

The Other Guys- Spoof and satire often falls flat, but with Will Ferrel and Adam McKay at the helm it rarely goes south. This film is no exception. If not for the great car chases with a Prius or the gun fight in a Fortune 500 company, where everyone seems to be packing, this film has one utterly truly brilliant scene that needs to be mentioned. I have never heard such nonsense made so brilliant as when I heard the string of story about a tuna beating a lion that comes out of Will Ferrel's mouth. Brilliance. Utter brilliance.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World- I am a huge fan of the comic and is there any reason why I would not love the adaptation? Absolutely not! It had the same wit and zing as the series and gave us the visual eye candy that we all crave without giving us a cavity. The story differs from the comic, but not so much that it is a detriment, but enough so that we notice and understand it as a stand alone project. Kudos to the casting director. each of the actors really looked and embodied the characters from the comic so well.

Shutter Island- You would think that one mind bender with Leonardo DiCaprio in one year would be enough, but we got two and this one is just as great. To figure all of this out with the dream sequences and small clues embedded in each major turning point in the case really requires a second viewing and it deserves one. Well plotted to throw one off the scent, but not as complicated to become lost in its own mythos, this film is a thriller as thrillers were meant to be and that ending still gives me goosebumps.

The Social Network- Witty, zeitgeisty, and really fantastic. This film shows the world that to create a compelling film all the characters have to do is speak or at least speak in a way that is interesting and fun. I love to listen to Jesse Eisenberg's Mark Zuckerburg just keep piling on the information, insults, and insolence throughout his court proceedings and dealings with his so-called friends. The film transcends what it could have been to become that last scene of all of us just wanting that one person to know we exist.

The Town- Like many I had given up on Ben Affleck's career, but over the last few years he has proven to be an asset to the film community and this film is no exception. He balances the tension on the head of a pin in this well made heist film. I love to watch Jeremy Renner work and to create a character that is so balls to the wall crazy one minute and so calm and collected the next. I can't get enough of each scene so delicately laid out before us that we wonder who will make it out and who will leave in a body bag.

Toy Story 3- I was nervous about seeing this movie because I had not seen the second edition of the franchise in over ten years. Would I still like these characters, remember their meaning, and love them again? The answer is yes. A hundred times yes. I love watching my favorite characters as if they and I had never left the screen for so long. It was still as funny and heartfelt as it had always been and it gave closure to Andy's piece of the story in a way that I cannot get over how much I loved.

True Grit- While not a remake, this film really does transcend the adaptation before it. Surprisingly funny and always full of suspense and great shoot 'em up gun fights, this film is an excellent edition to the Coen canon. I especially loved Matt Damon as La Beouf because of his constant yammering and his need to defend his precious institution of the Texas Rangers.

Winter's Bone- It is hard not to throw a rock in this area of the world without finding someone who is related to someone else. They all seem to be cousins of some kind, which is what makes this family drama all the more interesting. I especially love John Hawkes as teardrop because he is one character that I could never predict. I never knew what he would do next or if he would do anything at all to help his niece. It is a great mystery that does not have a truly happy ending, but it does not have to. We just know that now the family is at peace.

Christmas?

2010-12-20T03:06:00.000-08:00

I don't ever really remember Christmas's as truly happy times in my life. I did love to get gifts as a kid, but as the gleam wore off and the day wore on, I just could not be that happy any more.

This year has been no different. I have been in a large funk lately over the season. I guess I am just one of those people that has never completely understood why we have only one day a year to love, to give, to be more generous.

I try to be generous with my time and contribute to causes that make my spirits and the spirits of those around me rise all year round and to suddenly be expected to do what I already try to do in giving my all to the people I love, I become exhausted and overwhelmed.

Suddenly we are expected to only buy for other people, to only create for other people. I love to do those things, but the pressure is so much greater because it is all concentrated on one day, even though it has a month of build up and anticipation.

I figured out this holiday that I am not sure I want to give into this anymore. Sure I want my children and family to celebrate Christmas, but I think it should be something greater. An entire month of selfless acts. 31 days of devoting yourself to the ones you love and thanking them for being there in your life in the past year.

I don't want just that fleeting moment of happiness any more. No more secrets, no more lies. I crave the open honesty of giving a person gifts through a whole month. Store bought and hand made gifts to mothers, siblings, fathers, relatives.

This is the season for giving, but it always feels in my heart to be the season of anxiety and anxious anticipation. I'm not looking to change the world. I just want to be happier and I want the people I love to be happier. We should not wait, but give and give for the whole of December.

I cherish the look of surprise and awe on someone's face as I give them the gift that I have thought about for months at a time and I don't want to wait any more. No longer will it be an early Christmas present, but a Christmas present to cherish and feel the warmth of throughout the month.

Well, I'm Back

2010-12-16T00:55:00.000-08:00

I gave in. I am back on Twitter. I was inspired by my great friend Crystal, who creates some of the funniest tweets I have ever seen. If you are interested in following my inane ideas of what I really want to do, some real, some not, some funny, some sweet.

So, that page again is, http://twitter.com/I_reallywant_to

Theater Frustration

2010-12-11T01:47:00.000-08:00

Is it too much to ask for an attractive single woman to come and sit next to me at a movie theater where I am sitting by myself, universe?

Granted, I might look a bit shady, especially lately with my 3 week beard and Star Trek insignia shirt, but what is it that keeps another single, single movie person to lock eyes with me across the auditorium, smile shyly and come sit near me.

That's all I ask, that and that she is not just teasing me until her boyfriend arrives with the popcorn, but no. I have to watch as the woman comes through the door, then turns to her significant other or just friend and move off to sit together.

(sigh...) Oh well, maybe the next time I go to the theater alone.

By the way see Black Swan when you can. It is a shoo in for a best picture nomination and if not at least you saw a great and challenging film with a performance that reminds all of us why we love Natalie Portman.

An Erotic Poem: Body Language

2010-12-07T01:06:00.000-08:00

The language is not safe for the workplace.

Sometimes you just have to write from the (heart) on for inspiration. It is literally the first draft so no huge judgments, enjoy, there will be more to come (I could have put a really incredible pun there, but I chose not to because there is enough imagery here, you don't need that right off the bat).

Body Language

Smell her
Hear her lust
Feel her pulsing and begging

Nubile
Hairy
Come together

Hurricanes of clothes
Tornadoes of passion
Windmills of zeal

Her glasses aside
My tongue on neck
Hands slide over shaft and slit

Fluids exchange on sticky fingers
Mouths skip across each other
Finding more delicious destinations

Wet with sweat
Hungry for head
Craving cunnilingus

Tongue in crevice
Lick the lollipop
Creamy rewards

The main event
Clothes scattered like debris
Her pupils grow, I grow

Arms, legs, feet, hands, hair, tongues, lips, genitals, penis, vagina
Intertwine

I'm inserted
You're skewered
We're in pleasure/pain

Missionary
Doggy
Cowgirl

The Cobra
The Clam
The Cradle

We writhe and feel
A connection of body
Of Soul?

Ugh, ummm, yeah, oh, yes, more, faster, slower, deeper, just the tip, baby, ahh

We fuck, screw, make love, bump uglies, hump, thrust, pound
Ourselves and each other

Climax
Orgasm
"I came."

Slide off
Me/her
Me and her, her and me

That was: great, wonderful, enjoyable, intense, fun
I: needed that, came so hard, want it again, can't move,
Love You

Panties on, still sexy
Boxers on, much less so
Both have to relive other base urges

Individuals in the same bed
Questions hang in the air
Breathe hard on her skin

So intimate a gesture
Breathing slows
Overtaken by exhaustion

The Series That Took My Heart and Gave It To Another

2010-12-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

As any casual or dedicated reader of this blog knows, I am a Lost fan. I will be until the day I die and am buried with, possibly under, all of my memorabilia, but today I found a new show that I consider to be a must watch, an every episode clincher.

The Walking Dead was a show I was excited about, but I never expected it to grab me and pull me into this world and make me care for these characters. This last episode, the season finale for season 1 was what made me know I will be a dedicated fan of this show for as long as it has a life, so to speak.

One thing that the producers of Lost promised us from the show's inception is that no character is safe from possible extinction and The Walking Dead has taken that maxim and of course expanded on it. There are zombies and danger every way these people look. They will never be safe, never be in a place they can't be attacked. There numbers might grow, but their numbers will always dwindle.

One thing that these writers do is to make us care for those characters. Every single one of them we feel something for. We can relish, a despicable human's death by zombie or be saddened by the sacrifice of a lone man who just could not go on. These are people we could know in a situation that we someday might face.

Maybe not in its form, but in the fact that we could have many of our numbers wiped out by disease, war, natural disasters, or the ominous absence of the fossil fuels we so desperately rely on.

At its heart and brutal, unforgiving, zombie violence, The Walking Dead is a wonderful character driven story where these people's survival is questioned everyday, by their lack of food, clean water and of course that unending legions of the undead, not to mention possibly other, less compassionate groups of human opportunists.

I am excited to see where this show can go and to see what will happen next. These people are my new castaways. Let's hope that they can survive this, but luckily, strangely enough to say, we have no idea if they really will. ( I say this even though there is a comic book series, but the show and the comic book have already differed so who's to say it won't become its own entity after a while.)

My long search is over and my heart is open and willing again to watch and love.

Whoops

2010-12-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have to print a retraction to my last post of "A Quick Update." Seeing as I have been getting close to the end, I thought I would do a recount of my list of the films I have seen this year and it turns out that I was wrong in a most favorable sense. It has come to my attention through the recount that I have actually seen 369 movies and had only 7 repeats throughout the year, up to November 30th.

That is fantastic news for my record breaking run because I only have to really see 12 movies to beat the current record. I will actually watch as many movies as I feel like as I am supposed to do because if this wasn't a natural or organic list, then what would be the point?

Anywho, I just thought I would let everyone know of the bank error in my favor. I am excited for this next month of movies because with Oscar season in full swing and the prospect of watching films for my new blog, this moth will shape up to be one of great movie promise.

A Quick Update: November

2010-12-01T00:43:00.000-08:00

Well, as penultimate months of the year for a movie watching contest with last year's self goes, I think I did pretty well for myself. Let's get down to business. This month I saw a surprising 41 movies and an amazing no repeats, though a recent DVD purchasing binge did not help with that no repeat tally. This means my grand total has become 360 movies seen thus far this year with only 8 repeats, which also mean if I watch a movie a day next month, I will beat the previous year's total.

Now, I promised a new feature. This month for the first time, I present my three favorite movies that I saw in November:

The Thin Red Line- I have seen this movie once before, but I remember really not liking it, but this second viewing I was in love with the utter beauty in this contemplative and very existential war film. My only problem was the last twenty minutes or so, where it becomes incredibly choppy and confusing.

127 Hours- This film is fucking brilliant. There is no other way to describe it. Every scene, shot and action was utterly, meticulously crafted. It is the best film I have seen this year. Period.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 1- This penultimate edition to the saga is just as wonderful and heartbreaking all those before it. Especially for a quiet and lovely dance scene between Harry and Hermione and a really awesome animated story of the Deathly Hallows.

Now, here are all the films I saw in November in the order they were seen with Netflix ratings for each.

Election (5)
What Goes Up (2)
(Untitled) (3)
Toy Story 3 (5)
Monster's Ball (2)
35 Shots of Rum (4)
The Thin Red Line (5)
Tears of the Sun (2)
Amreeka (4)
Treasure of the Sierra Madre (5)
City Island (4)
Due Date (2)
180 (degrees) South (5)
Pollock (3)
Nowhere Boy (4)
Iris (3)
Thunderball (4)
In the Heat of the Night (5)
Me and Orson Welles (4)
Goldfinger (4)
The Last Temptation of Christ (2)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 1 (5)
Burma VJ (5)
Fair Game (4)
The Secret in Their Eyes (5)
Gallipoli (3)
Punch-Drunk Love (5)
The Infidel (5)
127 Hours (5)
Hard Boiled (4)
The Bad News Bears (1976) (3)
Hot Tub Time Machine (2)
Faster (2)
Edge of Darkness (3)
From Russia With Love (4)
Operation: Endgame (3)
True Believer (3)
For All Mankind (5)
The Madness of King George (3)
Grave of the Fireflies (5)
Chloe (3)

I did it! (Plus other news)

2010-11-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

No not that "it," but am it that has even more far reaching rewards. I entered myself earlier this month in a little project called National Novel Writing Month and it turns out I really can write a novel in a month and even better, yet it helped assuage my fears that I would never get a draft of a novel finished.

This is an awesome feeling to know I have actually accomplished something I have set out to do. It is the best feeling int he world and I recommend that all people try it.

My life has not been going necessarily as planned lately, so to have this win under my belt is a much needed to boost to my ego. Still no job and no girlfriend (though to be honest I am still interested in a girl I met in college so I have not been out seeking anything).

But I have this novel and an exciting idea for an internet tea business, which will hopefully come to be something of an actual cafe in the future and I am adding a new feature to my Quick Update posts. Tomorrow for the first time ever, I will be giving you a little extra. I will name my 3 favorite films of the month and give a little bit of why that is. I know it is such a big step to take, but I will be taking it as a leap of faith.

Plus, we are nearing the end of the year and I am still plugging away at watching all the movies I can that are possibles for my new blog, 365 Days of Film. It is going to be great and fun and hopefully we will get a few people interested in seeing films they might not have known about or had never thought about before.

Status Report

2010-11-22T14:16:00.000-08:00

I feel bad that I have not been spending much time on this blog lately, but I have had so much going on. Still technically unemployed, but loving working hard at 826 Seattle. If you haven't heard of this organization, here are all the details.

Other than that I have been closing in on finishing my first novel. I felt I needed a huge kick in the teeth as to kick starting the process, so I signed up for National Novel Writing Month, which challenges all of us to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Here are the details on it.

So far, with only 8 days left, I have put 35,200 something words down on paper and I am heading for that finish line if I have to pull an all day writing marathon to do it. This has been a pleasant experience and after getting started my novel has become a deep rabbit hole that has an end, I just don't know how to conquer yet.

Also on the third blog front, I have been trying to get as many movies in as possible before my deadline, January 1st, for starting 365 Days of Film. It is going well. I have a pretty good start on the master list. Some movies that came out in 2010 even made the first cut, but we'll see how long they last when all is said and I am ready to dissect it in its entirety, adding and subtracting at will.

I will try to write more for this blog, but it is harder to think of topics when all the rest of this is going on, but December is looking to be incredibly wide open for such a task.

A Quick Update: October

2010-11-01T22:52:00.000-07:00

I nearly forgot to do this this month. I guess that is what comes from having a holiday at the end of a month, everything gets twisted around in your head. Anywho, this past month I saw a total of 35 movies with only one repeat. This brings my grand total up to 319 movies I have seen this year and 8 repeats on the list. So, without further anticipation, here they are with star ratings and all.

Let Me In (5)
Dawn of the Dead (1978) (4)
Marathon Man (4)
The Social Network (5)
The Road (5)
The Square (5)
Cemetery Junction (4)
It's Kind of a Funny Story (4)
Flame and Citron (5)
Humpday (4)
Hot Fuzz (5)
In the Name of the Father (4)
Babies (4)
The Quiet Earth (3)
Whip It (4)
The Losers (3)
Natural Born Killers (2)
RED (4)
Double Indemnity (5)
Good Hair (4)
The Last Rites of Ransom Pride (3)
Holy Rollers (4)
[REC] (5)
Quantum of Solace (5)
Hereafter (4)
A Prophet (5)
Kick-Ass (5)*
Batman: Under the Red Hood (5)
The Sting (5)
The Good, the Bad, the Weird (5)
Far From Heaven (4)
Taxi to the Dark Side (5)
Harry Brown (3)
The Girl Who Played with Fire (4)
Memento (5)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (4)

Celebrity Meeting

2010-10-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

On Saturday (10/23) I was privileged to see She & Him in Seattle. It was one of the most amazing shows of my life. I was truly excited and entertained in all the right ways. Then I had an idea.

I wanted to suddenly express and be heard on my feelings for the music and for the people in the band, (I have a gigantic crush on Ms. Zooey Deschanel, the lead singer) but as I waded through their sight to find a way to contact the band directly, I couldn't find one.

Sure, through Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter (If I still had a profile on any of them) I could send a message, friend them and, through really no fault of the band's own, be forgotten and left in the sea of sycophantic admirers.

I decided that that is not the way I wanted to go. Then I thought of sending my letter through the band's management and hope that it gets to them and they are able to read it, but I realized that has a very good chance of not working.

I recently started my new blog on Blogger called, "If I Ever Met...," which is a blog dedicated to the sometimes serious, sometimes reeking of snark, jealousy and dislike, but always farcical adventures I would have meeting certain celebrities.

I've realized now that have started the site, that I will most likely never do any of those things no matter how much I really want to. It is not that I am a coward or a hypocrite, I just feel like I would come off as just another forgettable fan encounter or as creepy, when I absolutely am being sincere, which to me would be death.

I think to meet your real heroes in life is to put them above you in terms of status, regardless of how they are as people because they are just that, people. To become a sycophantic, sniveling slob of a person when they are around is sad. It is sad to elevate people above ourselves.

I do dream though, of being able to sit down and really, really talk with certain actors, musicians, directors, writers, or TV personalities. I think that would be more meaningful than any forgotten picture they might take with me or slip of paper they might sign.

To get to know them as people and to have them know a little about me just would make it all the more worthwhile seeing them do their job.

The gist of that letter to She & Him would simply state that their music came to me in a very dark period in my life and was a contributing fact in why I was able to pull out of it. Their music saved my life and created in me a passion for living and existing.

I really hope to one day meet them and all of the people I have come to greatly respect in the artist community, we'll see how it goes I suppose.

The Accidental Spy

2010-10-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been living with my parents and in a terrible cosmic collision of fate, they are redoing their kitchen and subsequently following up on sealing their new concrete deck. Both things were happening yesterday as the deck was still wet and a man was putting the finishing touches on the new plaster in the kitchen.

The layout of the house is such that without the option of the deck and the kitchen being closed off. I was trapped in the back of the house. I told my mother this as I had an interview yesterday afternoon (P.S. I think I nailed it.) I did not know any other way to get out except through my bedroom window.

I gathered my things, popped out the screen, dropped the stuff outside the window, and psyched myself up to go out.

It all seems so glamorous in the movies and TV shows, when the hero gracefully assesses the situation and climbs stealthily out of a window. As I learned yesterday, those movies and TV shows have complicated processes and of course are practiced to death, plus they get second tries.

The back of my right leg

I thought of all of this as I was dangling by my right leg and right forearm, out of my first story window. As I had not yet made true contact with the ground, was in pain, and was at the point of absolutely no return, I let go.

Scraping against the sill and frame of the window, slowly and painfully, I finally got past the main meat of my calf and all of a sudden everything went fast. I remember hitting the ground and my shoe flying off, but it escaped me how exactly I fell and the miracle of my shoe landing outside the room.

I remember getting up too fast and finding my shoe quickly. I felt incredibly nauseous, whether it was out of pain, fear of my neighbor seeing me, my jitters about my job interview, or of just plain embarrassment at not thinking my plan through, I have no idea. I just knew I needed to sit for a while after that.

Memory and Forgiveness

2010-10-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

I have been dreading writing this post for a while now, but since it has been a week and a few days since the funeral I think I can write it without any further delay.

My friend, mentor, boss, and former future father-in-law Harry passed away in early September. He died of stomach cancer.

One of the things I have struggled with the most in his passing is that now, whenever I walk into church, I don't here a familiar voice shout, "Hey, Zach-man!"

I think you need to know a few things to know why this is significant to me. To know my past is to know I had a relationship and devastating break up with Harry's daughter. It would have made sense for Harry and his wife to completely and utterly sever ties with me. To just send a polite nod my way every now and then, but a few Sundays after it happened, something I didn't and couldn't predict happened.

I was walking out after the service and I had the moment I had been dreading. I saw Harry and Paula coming toward me. Luckily, their daughter wasn't with them. Paula smiled at me and I gave a weak smile back.

In a moment, I looked up and saw Harry. He looked at me, his face slightly scrunched in an I'm sorry grimace and he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

Never, never in a million years had I expected this kind of treatment from him. In that moment I knew that the respect I had for him was a mutual affair. I knew that I wasn't just another of his daughter's boyfriends.

In the subsequent years Harry invited me out for a beer (He doesn't drink and unfortunately we were never able to go out for it) and he took me out fishing for the first time in my life.

He had no motive for this. No ultimate goal. Harry was just the kind of person that wanted to be nice to people he liked and I had the feeling he genuinely liked me.

On a long truck ride from Omak back over to University Place, Harry and I had a frank discussion about marriage. His daughter and I had gotten pretty serious and were dead-set on getting married. I asked him what he thought.

He told me then what I should have seen all along and he did it without judgment of me or my actions. While I cannot remember the exact words, he said something like, "Zach, I know you are mature and good-natured and in a lot of ways you are ready for marriage, but [she] is not. [She] is not mature enough for marriage right now, it takes a selflessness that she does not have, yet."

A little over a month later, I was sitting alone in my dorm room with a $1300 engagement ring and nothing to show for it.

Harry was a very wise and kind man, who as I saw at the service, touched countless lives in the course of his all too short life. Seeing those people I met trough him, I got to see his daughter again and rather the same feelings of terror, dread and panic that usually grip me when she is involved, I felt at peace.

I felt that she no longer held a power over me and that I could forgive what she did and what I did to her. All of it just left my system. I was able to give her a hug and express my condolences without feeling like I should walk into traffic. It was more than liberating. It is conscious freedom from an oppression that gripped my heart.

Along with her, I felt the same feeling of relief when I watched as a golf pro from Fircrest give a speech. this man made my time at the Golf Course a living Hell and he never realized it.

I had a lot of malice stored in my heart for this man, but as I saw him, I knew him as just a man. A man, who really had changed since I have known him and a man, who had fought for me on several occasions.

That weight and pressure on my heart was lifted completely and wholly. I still hate some of his actions, but I am not holding on to them any more.

I can thank Harry's example and influence on these two people for taking away my pain and replacing it with peace of mind.

I thank God for the life of Harry. He was a shining beacon in mine and he shall be missed by so many, who have known his kindness, warmth, humor and strength as I have.

A Quick Update: September

2010-10-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Here we are plodding along through the year and there are only three months left of 2010. This past month I watched 38 movies and had an unfortunate 3 repeats of past favorites. This brings my grand total up to 284 and 7 repeats. I am well on my way to surpassing last years totals. Without further ado, here are the titles and ratings.

The White Ribbon (4)
Shutter Island (5)*
The Warriors (4)
The Simpsons Movie (5)
The American (5)
For a Few Dollars More (4)
Peter and Vandy (4)
Heist (4)
A Single Man (5)*
Anchorman (4)
The Exploding Girl (4)
Following (5)
The Lady from Shanghai (3)
Clockers (4)
Zero Effect (3)
Tell No One (5)
Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death (5)
Spy Game (3)
Panic (2)
The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring (5)
Winter's Bone (5)
The Town (4)
Predator (3)
Hard Eight (4)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (5)
$9.99 (4)
The Crazies (2010) (4)
Tsotsi (5)
A Town Called Panic (5)
Five Minutes of Heaven (5)
Waitress (4)
Easy A (4)
Solitary Man (4)
Mississippi Burning (4)
Top Gun (2)
Mystery Team (5)
Date Night (4) *
The Heartbreak Kid (2)
City Lights (5)
Superman II (2)
The Greatest (3)

The Meaning of Life

2010-09-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

I am about to make a connection that some can call spurious or even a little coincidental, but lately it is something something I have needed and something I hope others will understand and believe.

Bear with me while I set this precedence.

In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the computer deep thought is commissioned to answer the the ultimate question to life, the universe and everything, but in the process they forgot the question. The answer, of course, is 42.

Now, skip ahead several years, to when the writers of Lost came up with the idea that each candidate is assigned a number. Cryptically they only assigned one number for both Jin and Sun. That number, is 42.

Stay with me now. This next part is pure theory.

Jin and Sun, if chosen, or volunteering to take over Jacob's job they would do it together for one reason and one reason only: They would not want to leave each other.

Jacob visited Jin and Sun on the day of their marriage, the day they proclaimed to the world that they loved one another and would be together until death do they part.

Here's where it all comes together.

I propose that the ultimate question as calculated by Deep Thought was, what is the meaning of life?

Then I postulate that because the answer is 42, Jin and Sun's candidacy number is 42, and Jacob visited them on their wedding day, the number 42 can only mean one thing in this sense. It is a representation of love.

Jin and Sun as the ill-fated lovers were chosen because of what they represented in the grand scheme and they enlighten us all as to the real answer to the meaning of life.

To love.

We are put here on this earth to love, be loved, and learn to love. We are here because of love and we will die loved by someone we have touched while here.

Regardless of how we feel sometimes we are loved.

Forget jobs, money, possessions and think of what is really important deep down. There is no denying that in your heart and in your head someone's face just crept to the front. We are here for love.

This may sound to you like something that does not make sense or, because of the way I arrived at my conclusion, like pure bunk, but I ask you to really take stock and look at what is important to you and what is the element that keeps it all together. I think that you'll see a different order of importance in your own life as I have.

Can You Tell: A Bumbershoot Story

2010-09-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

(This is a fictionalized version of what could have happened while I was enjoying Bumbershoot this year. The picture is of the band Ra Ra Riot at the Broad Street Stage)

I was anxious. Anxious to finally hear Ra Ra Riot live, but also because I could feel something else in the air.

The band took the stage to rapturous applause by the audience. I forgot the feeling and focused on the music.

People danced and swayed to sweet and soulful sounds. I tapped my foot and closed my eyes.

Suddenly a familiar tune came to my ears. My eyes opened and my heart beat faster. the feeling came back as the singer claimed, Oh, have I been too discreet...

I looked around, for what I could not tell, but the feeling compelled me to seek.

I think about you nightly

TThen our eyes locked. Hers and mine. A girl so beautiful the sun came out from behind the clouds just to get a glimpse. I moved without a thought contradicting what I could feel.

Oh what am I supposed to do?

She moved as well, the gap between us getting smaller and smaller. I reached the edge of the beer garden and rather than go around I climbed over.

"Hey!" sshouted the security guard, but I paid him no mind and I kept walking to her. Our eyes never wavered and our feet never missed a step.

Oh can you tell? I can't even explain. Oh what am I supposed to do?

Then she was there in front of me. A smile creeped across her face as she looked up at me and my smile came quickly after.

When I look in your eyes I tend to lose my thoughts

Before I could stop my self I leaned in and kissed her. Cradling her head in my hands. She slid her arms around my waist and pulled my body into hers.

Our lips parted and she said, "I've been waiting for you."

I pulled her lips to mine again and we kissed. The warmth of her breath, the taste of her lips felt like home, like I was meant to be there and only there for the rest of my life.

Suddenly there was clapping and cheering as the band left the stage. I opened my eyes and I hadn't moved from my original spot. The girl was gone or never existed.

I tried desperately to remember her face and seek it in the receding crowd, but she was gone like a ghost. I walked away from the stage. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw her, looking around to find me, but the crowd took me away.

A Quick Update: August

2010-09-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

August was a great month. I saw a lot more great movies than mediocre and I am now optimistic for the rest of the movies in 2010 to surprise and delight me as well.

This month my total movies came to 34 and sadly, 2 repeats. I just couldn't help myself. S now my grand total is 246 movies and 4 repeats. I am well on my way to beating my score from last year. We'll see how the next few months go.

For now, here are the titles with the ratings for your perusal.

Inception (5)*
The Long Good Friday (5)
Amelia (2)
The Limey (5)
La Dulce Vita (5)
Rebel Without a Cause (5)
Comedian (5)
The Young Victoria (5)
The Wild One (5)
The Other Guys (4)
A Serious Man (5)
The Quiet American (4)
Barton Fink (5)
Wristcutters: A Love Story (4)
Planet of the Apes (1968) (3)
The Big Lebowski (5)*
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (5)
Tokyo Story (3)
Food, Inc. (5)
Big (4)
Il Divo (5)
Mother (5)
The Crazies (1973) (3)
Downfall (5)
The Switch (3)
The Princess and the Frog (3)
Changing Lanes (3)
Bloody Sunday (5)
Husbands and Wives (4)
A Fistful of Dollars (4)
The Eclipse (5)
Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1974 (5)
Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1980 (5)
Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1983 (5)
The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights (5)
Control (5)

The Emmy Blues

2010-08-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

Every year I am disappointed, but happy at the same time after the winners are announced at the Emmys.

Happy because great shows and performances are winning and disappointed because great shows and performances are losing.

I think it is the fact that a TV show takes on a life of its own in that for twenty-two weeks or there abouts we invite it into our living rooms, get to know its characters, follow its stories and wait on bated breath to see if it makes another season or is left for dead on the pop culture highway.

We, or at least I, get so invested in shows that it is hard to see that not everybody likes them or that not everybody thinks they are as great as I do, so when for the third year in a row I watch Matthew Weiner walk across the stage it is hard to see a show that I have loved get nothing for six years of the best television possible.

I do love Mad Men though. I think it is an incredible series that absolutely deserves every award that they can give to it, but I just hate that the television industry creates such an easily dominated category or even categories in the case of the incredible Bryan Cranston, also a threepeat and also impeccable.

There is just something to be said for what people always say about certain winners at the Oscars, "It was their turn. They have had a great year. Their body of work speaks for itself."

I think it is time though that television ups the ante. I hope that in this next season of television there will be a show to come along to unseat Mad Men. I think it is time that television gets better and is better.

A challenge has been thrown down to network television to be like the cable networks and to create great television again.

I will deeply miss Lost and I look forward to the new fall season, but I almost wish the television academy had said to Lost earlier tonight, "It's your turn again. This is for an incredible ride." I guess we the fans have that in our hearts and no television academy can hinder our viewing pleasure.

A Small Hicough in the Gears

2010-08-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

I unfortunately have to push my new blog launch back again. This time to the more obvious year starting point of January 1st. I just simply do not have enough of my research into my list done as I could possibly do and I want to make the best possible list I can so bear with me.

A Quick Update: July

2010-08-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

This month I was at the theater quite a bit, but was disappointed with a few of the blockbusters I saw, but let's get into the nitty gritty of the situation.

This month I saw 33 movies and sadly had one repeat ending my great streak of not repeating a film, but it was at least a repeat I saw coming. With these added in, my grand total is now 212 seen movies and 2 repeats. Not bad if I do say so myself.

Here they are with Netflix ratings and everything:

The Lovely Bones (3)
Knight and Day (3)
The Last Airbender (2)
Stripes (4)
An Education (5)
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (4)
Alien 3 (3)
Quarantine (5)
Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (5)
Terribly Happy (5)
Breaking Away (3)
The 39 Steps (5)
Inception (5)
Manic (5)
Greenberg (3)
Cyrus (4)
A Star is Born (1937) (4)
The 400 Blows (5)
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (5)
Broadcast News (3)
There's Something About Mary (5)
Salt (3)
The Hurt Locker (5)
About a Boy (4)
Cool Hand Luke (5)
A Streetcar Named Desire (5)
Black Narcissus (5)
Crazy Heart (4)*
The Searchers (3)
Stagecoach (5)
Marie Antoinette (3)
Dinner for Schmucks (4)
The Kids are All Right (5)
Little Children (5)

The Excitement Builds

2010-07-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have not been out to see many summer blockbusters this year because frankly they looked lackluster and pretty lame, but ever since I saw that first incredibly cryptic teaser trailer, Inception's release date has been marked on my mental calendar.

It looks like a mind-blowing and mind-altering thrill ride of a movie and I here the reviews are excellent as well.

A phenomenal cast, great writer director and old school stroy telling? I am in. I discovered today through my various sources an intriguing prologue of a webcomic that I think you should all check out. It adds a few answers to my already burning questions and layers of questions upon those.

Here's the link I hope you ponder it and enjoy it as much as I do: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/inception-comic.html

Summer Blues

2010-07-14T00:24:00.000-07:00

We've reached the point in every summer I have ever had where I start to look back on the grand to-do list that I had made for myself during the lingering days of the formal school year.

As I made it I claimed, "I will have so much time to do it soon."

Then it comes to this point where I say I have not done much of this list at all. I have been lazy and ridiculous about it.

There just seems to be a hold on me during the summer that with so much free time I just put the things I love and want to do off one more day. The day that never seems to come. The day that I dread.

I am planning on having this summer be different from the others and creating a real concrete plan. A real schedule for my days and nights. I hope I can rectify what's left of my to-do list and finish out this summer better than I left it.

Here goes everything.

A Quick Update: June

2010-07-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

So this month was another month I pretty much stayed out of the theater or at least the mainstream theater for the most part, but I did see a few good ones when I did go.

This month I saw a total of 39 movies with the fifth straight month of no repeats. Unfortunately that streak will be ending soon as my Netflix list is starting to catch up with the movies I have seen, but want to again.

All this brings my grand total to 179 and one repeat. Here they are with Netflix star ratings and all.

Anatomy of a Murder (5)
The Candidate (5)
Up in the Air (5)
Die Hard (4)
Mad Max (3)
Leaves of Grass (4)
Ghostbusters 2 (4)
New York, I Love You (4)
Where the Wild Things Are (5)
Old Joy (4)
The Parallax View (4)
Advise and Consent (5)
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (5)
Knocked Up (4)
44 Inch Chest (5)
Get Him to the Greek (3)
Days of Heaven (3)
Tokyo Sonata (4)
Get Low (5)
The A-Team (3)
The Missing Person (4)
Daybreakers (3)
The Wolfman (2)
Pirate Radio (4)
The Box (4)
Syriana (5)
Born on the Fourth of July (3)
Young Mr. Lincoln (4)
Afghan Star (4)
TiMER (5)
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (3)
The African Queen (4)
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (3)
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (3)
Brothers (USA) (4)
Yojimbo (5)
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (4)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (5)
Gone with the Wind (2)

The Solitary Man Part 4

2010-06-25T00:26:00.000-07:00

I don't love the fact that all of these posts deal or come out of the fact that I watch a movie that affirms a belief I have, but because I am me it works and it is always enlightening.

Just a few minutes ago I finished watching TiMER a sort of comedy about a not too distant future where people are implanted with a chip at puberty that will accurately predict, within a day, a person's soul mate.

I thought how much easier it would be. How much stress would be lifted from my shoulders if I knew that there was someone out there for me. I always believed it. Film, television, books, stage plays/musicals, music all pound the idea into our heads like a constant jack hammer.

We are programmed from birth to believe that, I will quote the most seemingly ridiculous film for this post ever, "True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another."

We yearn for that love that connection and drive. I unfortunately feel I am completely screwed up in this area. Every woman that feigns interest in me I nearly fall in love with because they exist.

I spend my days and hours obsessing or at least thinking of her. To the point where I get incredible ideas of the grandiose in my head and I, before I have even really gotten to know her, have envisioned this perfect life. This idyllic dream world that we exist in.

I am overly romantic. To the point where I have to step back from myself and make sure I don't keep thinking my foolish thoughts because I know almost immediately that I will get hurt.

I want so badly for every woman I am attracted to to give me a chance that I don't give myself any time to understand my feelings. I don't ever take time to know why I feel the way I do.

I get so caught up in wanting to be in love that I force love. I think that that is what the relationship needs is to be love and it spirals from there.

I say all of this as a bad thing, but really I am only hurting myself. I know that there is some woman out there for me and that eventually I will find her and there will be happiness and sadness in our lives.

I am terrified, but excited to know her and to experience her in my lifetime. I am overly romantic because my mind is gearing up for the time when I will be able to lavish affection on my soul mate. My mind gives me the ideal situation so that I can be happy in the now even if the future can turn dark.

I love too deeply to not find a woman who needs that kind of love and can give it back to me.

As the solitary man I am it is difficult to think of the other person I want to spend my life with, but as that solitary man I need to find my solitary woman because without her I am not complete.

It is not what is force fed to me by the media that makes me believe, but my own gut and my own head. There is no other possible explanation.

I am the solitary man, I am from here, I want to know, and I am utterly and overly romantic.

Update: New Blog Coming Soon

2010-06-17T13:59:00.001-07:00

The new blog is up and running with the first three posts already on the site. The next few will be epic so stay tuned. The URL is http://celebsighting.blogspot.com

New Blog Coming Soon

2010-06-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

I got a great idea from my good friend Crystal for a new blog. I have a lot of ideas for what I would like to do if I meet certain celebrities in person. Some of them are quotes from their movies and others are how they make me feel in a physical capacity or what have you, but I will be starting it up tomorrow and it will be a new post every day and I hope to keep it going as long as I can.

In case I forget to put a link to it I am planning on calling it: If I Ever Met... So try searching for that. I already have the first four or so planned so stay tuned here and watch for there. It's gonna be great.

Finding my Glee

2010-06-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

Last May I was skeptical about a show that was based around a high school glee club, but my friends if you have read some of my previous posts, I have become an incredibly big gleek over this past year.

Glee just had its season finale and in parts it was a heart-breaker at others it was utterly gleeful. I cannot help, but love this show because in its first season it tackled tough topics that some shows would not dream of touching.

Racism, homosexuality, popularity, eating disorders, premarital sex and resulting pregnancy, and issues involving handicapped struggles (I am sorry if that phrase offends anyone, that is the best way I knew how to phrase it).

I was looking forward to a show that could replace Lost in complexity of human character and intriguing story lines and my friends in the oddest and least predictable place i have found it.

As Lost ended I cried and as this season of Glee came to a close I also found myself unable to hold it in, but I know there is nothing, but good that will come of this show in the future. I have hope and faith in the writers of the show to keep me interested in these characters and the story lines fresh.

I have found the TV show that I will continue to love until it comes to its satisfying conclusion.

The Solitary Man Part 3

2010-06-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Where the Wild Things Are and I realized how beautiful that film is to me. Not for just the amazing landscapes or the fantastic visual effects, but because of the raw and powerful human emotion that is personified through Max and all of the Wild Things.

The most powerful lesson that the movie has to teach us is that we are going to have to learn to live. To learn is to experience life.

I am on the cusp of ending what is considered a customary, and almost required now, step in life and that is finishing my bachelor's degree. Whether or not I think I am finished with learning, I am not. Not even close.

I think of all the things I don't know, all the experiences I have not had, and all of the experiences I will never, or can never have and it is daunting.

The list goes into eternity, but to think of all I have done and all I have learned I am blessed.

I know things that no other person knows, I have done things that no other person has done and I have created a history of myself through my choices and my actions.

I live because of what I learned and I will learn because that is the only way I can live.

My mind is open. It is free and clear. I want it. Need it. I crave what I don't know. I learn so that I can be.

My being is derived from those experiences I have and the fate that has been chosen for me. What that fate is I will not know until the last possible moment, but I know.

It is deeply ingrained in my soul, my being, what I am meant for. To learn is to learn what we are to do. What we are to become. To learn is to know that black and white is a myth and that we all pass through the gray on a daily basis.

I want so much to learn and to know and to grow into myself. My perfect self, or as close to perfection as I can come.

I am unique because of what I learn and what I am meant to learn and how I learn it.

I am the solitary man, I am from here, and I want to know.

Published

2010-06-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

Today I got some great news in my e-mail. My story was chosen to be published on Espresso Stories, a website dedicated to sentence length stories. I hope to publish some more in the near future, but for right now enjoy what's there.

http://espressostories.com/story.php?story=12088

The Solitary Man Continued

2010-06-04T01:35:00.000-07:00

I watched Up in the Air for the second time ever just a few hours ago. It is a film that has me thinking and defining my values and goals as a person.

I can't help, but watch Ryan Bingham's literal and metaphorical journey and wonder at the line he utters toward the end of the film (I will keep it out of context so as not to spoil the film). When asked "Where are you from?" He replies with absolute candor, "I'm from here," meaning of course the plane.

I look at that question and I cannot help, but imagine not a place I am from, but a state of being. Where am I from? I am from high school graduation, first love, first heartbreak, best friends, hanging out, summer camp, funerals, birthdays. I am from here. I am now.

I look at the events of Ryan Bingham's life that we are presented with and I look at the recent events of my life and I wonder how much of a chance I am willing to take.

Recently I told a girl I liked her. I was rejected in that she is not interested in that kind of relationship, but I also feel I am pushing her away because of the relationship I am trying to establish with her.

I have strange and very real dreams. Lately I have had them where she has played a prominent role and in these dreams, by trying to draw her close to me and keep her for myself, I pushed her away. I lost what originally sparked the interest and I created a place inside where I smothered her figuratively.

Where my mixed up feelings got the better of me and ruined a good thing. I have decided I can't let this happen. I care too much about having her in my life.

I take my dreams as a warning that if I want to keep this relationship. I have to let it go for a while. I have to, not ignore her, but just not badger and feel like I am forcing my presence upon her.

I need to take her out of my backpack to borrow the philosophy of Mr. Bingham. I am from here and from here I will move toward being able to let go.

I am the solitary man. While I have attachments to many people, I can leave them be until that person needs me.

I am from here. Living in this place, building the man inside of me to be able to over come the neuroses, jealousies, and obsessions that plague my waking mind.

I will walk as the solitary man, there when you need me and here even if you don't. I will be. I will exist.

I am the solitary man and I am from here.

Amendment to Summer Television

2010-06-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

I think the original point of that post yesterday was lost, but it got me to a good revelation.

Here's the real point I was going to make: I was planning on watching no live TV what so ever, but with the conclusions of Glee and Friday Night Lights yet to come, new shows like The Good Guys and Louie, and returning shows like Mad Men, The Venture Brothers and Futurama, think my TV schedule will be full or at least my Hulu queue.

I think my principles will stand on the daytime TV, but as soon as primetime hits I think my will will weaken.

Summer Television

2010-06-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

I was going to make a pledge to not watch live television this summer. It is something I do when bored is I flip on the tube and go through all the channels until I can find something tolerable and then I surf the internet and just not do anything for hours at a time.

I decided that this summer I would not waste my time in this way. I will do anything instead of watching mindless daytime television or reruns of golden age sitcoms.

I kind of hate myself for having done this for so many years. This year I will read, get out, hang out with people, and I will write. Write for this blog, write my novel, write short stories, and poetry. I will also edit what I can and send things out to literary magazines and such.

I want this to be a summer where I feel like I accomplished something while I am also taking my last college class. I want this to be the summer where I figure out who I am as a writer and a person.

My best friend Lance gave me the best advice that I could have hoped for. He said that I have the opportunity to figure out who I am this summer and I am not going to miss that opportunity by just watching television all day.

I am going to live.

A Quick Update: May

2010-06-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

This month I saw a total of 30 movies. Only two of which I saw in theaters. I guess nothing really struck my fancy as a need to see movie, especially since I never liked Sex in the City when it was a TV show, I haven't liked the last two Shreks and I never played Prince of Persia. Now my total is up to 140 movies with one repeat. This next month or three my schedule is really opening up to where there will be far more movies to watch in theaters and much more time to use watching DVDs and online movies. So without further adieu, here is the list complete with Netflix ratings for each.

Heat (4)
Aliens (4)
The Triplets of Belleville (4)
Broken Embraces (4)
American Pie (2)
Casablanca (4)
World's Greatest Dad (3)
Iron Man 2 (4)
Red Cliff (3)
White Heat (4)
Anvil: The Story of Anvil (5)
Women in Trouble (2)
The Vicious Kind (5)
The Verdict (4)
Ponyo (4)
Signs (4)
Star Trek: First Contact (4)
Three Days of the Condor (4)
Gentlemen Broncos (4)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962) (5)
The Big Sleep (4)
Harvey (5)
Goodbye Solo (5)
Straw Dogs (3)
The Messenger (5)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (4)
The Secret of Kells (4)
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (3)
Shotgun Stories (5)
Paranormal Activity (3)

Lucky

2010-05-26T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was dead tired. A zombie walking into campus and through classes and such. It was even worse when I realized I still had to drive home (2 hours) that night to be able to be there for my dentist appointment that was at 8:00 AM this morning.

I decided to get a drink and a snack for the road. As I was driving I had the college radio station going and the DJs announced a trivia question with a prize attached for the first person with a winning answer.

I never pay attention to these questions, but this one was too easy to pass up: "What is the name of the comic book shop in The Simpsons?"

Immediately I blurted out, "The Android's Dungeon."

I had seen a commercial earlier in the week about a couple entering every contest they could and I thought, "What the Hell?"

I got into the parking lot of Fred Meyer, called the number, said my piece and won. I have never won anything that way before. I felt like Ralphie's dad in A Christmas Story. It's a major award.

It was no leg lamp, but this victory still makes me feel good. I got a couple of CDs out of it and a Counting Crows poster of one their albums (that I threw away), plus one too many bumper stickers with the stations call numbers on them.

I feel like I can have those lucky days every once and a while and it makes up for a really shitty couple of weeks that I have had.

I almost went out to buy a lottery ticket, but I remembered another Simpsons mantra, "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!"

The End

2010-05-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

I am still shaking and overwhelmed by the ending of Lost. For six years we have waited for this moment and my friends I couldn't be happier.

That ending was glorious, ambiguous, satisfying, heartbreaking, and simply the best I have ever seen and am likely to ever see.

This episode touched on all the things we needed it to be. Jack as leader made the hard decision. He made the tough choices as he always does and in the end he did what Jack doe. He fixed everything.

I loved so much of what Hurley evolved into. Being the new leader of the Island and Ben becoming his number two. Way back in season 4 I thought they would make a good team.

The plane taking off and Claire and Kate making a vow to raise Aaron together was an ultimate sigh of relief. Plus I was wrong about Lapidus being dead which was good for all of us.

More than the episode, which had me bawling from minute one with that incredible opening sequence, I want to talk about Lost as a whole.

People consider TV to be an escape, decent way to spend an hour or so, but what we got with Lost was an expansion of our minds. It became not just an hour out of the day, but an event, and a lesson.

These writers taught us physics, history, religion, and most of all they taught us about humanity through characters. Through characters that I will desperately miss seeing every week on television.

Many shows on television will not give their characters much growth or learning over the course of their run, but the creators and writers of Lost dug into the depths of the cores of these characters and created fully realized human beings, who love, laugh, live and die believably.

Each and every character on Lost was given such care in the design and acting. I don't think there will ever be anything else like it. No other TV show can come close to the level of detail and scope of the arcs of each individual character. I mean they let us absolutely believe in the love between Sawyer and Juliet and Shannon and Sayid.

With so much care put into their characters, it is so incredible that the writers also had time to create some of the most complex story telling ever before tried and what is the most amazing part is that there was almost no continuity errors in the production.

They created a world, where we would believe in an island that heals, has electromagnetic properties, can travel through time, and is the world's stage for the battle of good versus evil in human nature.

This island also became a magnet for people that wanted to study, to live and to fight for it. Led by a guardian, a man who did not age, and a column of black smoke, just trying to get home.

Our castaways, Others, Dharma folks, and freighter people were all drawn to the Island to try and prove Jacob right about humanity, but also as a chance for redemption in themselves.

There is not one character from the original cast that did not redeem their past mistakes while on the Island and that is what the Island allowed them to do. It created potential for these people to become the best versions of themselves, even if it took until the end of the series to do it.

With all this going on it instantly elevated every episode to must see status and I am proud to say there was only one episode that I missed most of and was not able to see until the DVD came out, but really I think after the fact Lost has not only changed my life, but so many others as well.

I cannot tell you how much my life has changed since the pilot episode until now. It helped me grow as a person and opened my eyes to philosophies and ideas that I had only glossed over. If anything it is the most influential anchor on my personal belief and faith in fate and God.

This show has been my life and my love for the past six years and now that it's over my future is ahead of me and brighter for having seen it.

The series began with Jack opening his eye and ended with a closing of his eye. More perfect bookends to the phenomenon, no one else could find. I will be watching Lost and turning people on to it for the rest of my life.

I have to be honest I watched until the end credits of the finale and I almost expected to see scenes for next week's show and I realized hard that it was truly over.It is sad, but also welcoming. For now and forever my friends Namaste.

Acting

2010-05-21T23:38:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to publish this list for a while and the only reason I was reminded of it was because last Friday, I saw Adam Scott on Parks and Recreation, then on Party Down, then in the movie The Vicious Kind, then as a helmsman in Star Trek: First Contact, and then yesterday in the season finale of Parks and Recreation. So I had to think about this list or at least my combination of lists to post about acting.

I thought of different categories and all that, but what it comes down to is I want this list to be my favorite established actors, my favorite up and coming actors, my favorite established actresses, and my favorite up and coming actresses.

I used to not be very into actors and actresses, but I have learned to have a certain taste for different styles. I am also trying to go against the norm of who I pick for these lists. So lets see who I choose:

Favorite Established Actors:

1. Matt Damon- Whether he is kicking ass or being goofy and strange, his range proves he will be around until he dies. Favorite Film: The Bourne Ultimatum, UUpcoming Film: The Adjustment Bureau

2. George Clooney- That deep growling voice can be adapted for the frivolity of a Coen brothers movie or the great gravitas he brings to his dramatic roles. Favorite Film: Michael Clayton, Upcoming Film: The American

3. Michael Sheen- He has played werewolves, vampires, television hosts, and a prime minister, rocking them all with his plucky style of greatness. FFavorite Film: ((tie) Frost/Nixon and The Damned United, Upcoming Film: Midnight in Paris (2011)

4. Josh Brolin- With so many powerful performances lately we should not forget that he was and forever shall be a Goonie. Favorite Film: No Country for Old Men, Upcoming Film: True Grit

5. Steve Carell- A really funny actor who can pull off poignant quite well too. Favorite Film: The 40 Year Old Virgin, Upcoming Film: Dinner for Schmucks

Favorite Up and Coming Actors

1. Adam Scott- He is hilarious in Party Down, but his role in The Vicious Kind unleashed a side of his acting chops that we have never seen and I hope we see again. Upcoming Film: (Nothing slated except what looks to be a remake of a bad film)

2. Zach Galifianakis- He's brash he's hilarious, but I choose him more for his semi-serious roles in Up in the Air and The Visioneers, both great. Upcoming Film: Due Date

3. Jesse Eisenberg- To say this kid's got range would be an understatement. He is the epitome of range. Upcoming Film: Holy Rollers

4. Michael Cera- Really funny person who is also able to make me feel something for the characters he plays. Upcoming Film: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

5. Chris Pine- How could I not support the man who is now Kirk and pulled it off with bravado. Upcoming Film: This Means War (2011)

Favorite Established Actresses:

1. Meryl Streep- Was there any question here? She is utterly brilliant with whatever project she undertakes. Favorite Film: Doubt, Upcoming Film: The Ice at the Bottom of the World

2. Helen Mirren- She oozes class, grace and punch with every role she takes on and no matter what it comes out gorgeous. Favorite Film: The Queen, Upcoming Film: Red

3. Natalie Portman- It helps that she was in Star Wars, but in everything else she does she is able to create an entirely new and fantastic performance. Favorite Film: V for Vendetta, Upcoming Film: Black Swan

4. Rachel Weisz- Since I first saw her in The Mummy, I have been very intrigued by her career and her choices and performances have never let me down. Favorite Film: The Fountain, Upcoming Film: The Whistleblower

5. Cate Blanchett- She has a commanding presence on screen that starts with her striking cheeks and gorgeous eyes and ends in her amazing chops. Favorite Film: I'm Not There, Upcoming Film: Hanna (2011)

Favorite Up and Coming Actresses:

1. Kristen Stewart- I have never seen those so called vampire movies, but I have seen almost everything she has done recently and it continues to blow me away. Upcoming Film: On the Road (2011)

2. Evan Rachel Wood- Despite her reprehensible taste in men, every film I see her in she gets better at the craft. Upcoming Film: The Conspirator

3. Chloe Moretz- Whether she is dispensing some of the most horrific language that a young girl can say or dispensing advice to her adult brother, she is great and at her best when not acting her age. Upcoming Film: Let Me In

4. Anna Kendrick- Because of Up in the Air I am along for the ride of her career. Upcoming Film: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

5. Emma Stone- She has a sharp tongue and a great sense of timing. I am looking forward to what she does soon. Upcoming Film: Easy A

So that's my list. As I was doing it I realized a few that I forgot, but I will wait a while before redoing any of the people on the list or of expanding the number on the lists.

Lately

2010-05-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

Most of this week I have been battling something within myself. It started out with an existential crisis, wild mood swings, and very real physical gastrointestinal problems.

I was definitely, to be my old cliche self, making mountains out of mole hills. I started to feel weird jealousies about people I had no use or right to be jealous of and it was over things that I really have no control.

The girl is not mine so why do I feel the need to have a sole claim on her attention?

My brain kept telling me things I didn't want to hear to the point where thoughts and feelings popped into my head that I hoped I wouldn't have again.

Two things happened to me today that kept those thoughts at bay and I will tell it as a story.

In my human sexuality class today we discussed the process of birth. Through all of the talk of after birth, sale of placentas to cosmetics companies, and a coaxial cable type device screwed into the babies head to monitor heart rate, I realized that almost more than being a writer or doing anything else I love, I want to be a father.

Listening to the gruesome details of the end result of human reproduction, I felt nauseous due to an unrelated problem, most likely a combination of pain due to a severely stubbed toe and what I can only imagine as the surfacing of my old lactose intolerance, but when i heard of the nursery and the cradling of the child, my heart leaped.

I instantly had a day-dream, which for me are always extremely vivid, of holding my future newborn, knowing that at that point only it and my wife mattered and had to matter. It was something so beautiful I felt like I was looking into the future somehow. Like I had gained a clairvoyance for my seed.

A couple of women ran through my mind as possible wives, but mostly it was about the child and how it made me feel to hold it.

I guess that's why my severe mood swing later in the day caught me by surprise and inconvenience.

I started to get anxious, angry, and hollow listening to the discussion of works by our classmates. I noticed people talking with other people and being normal. My mind was not going to work that way. My mind was playing tricks with my emotions.

I started to feel over heated and then I felt incredibly cold. I got my nausea back. As soon as class was over I got going. I left almost screaming at strangers on the way out and then almost crying.

I couldn't figure it out. That was the scary part. Why was I obsessing? What was wrong with me?

When I got to my apartment, I popped in my new Netflick, Gentlemen Broncos, which made me laugh like crazy and feel strangely happy like it was all over, but I returned to that feeling.

I watched the comedy block that I usually miss because of water polo and felt much better, but I still needed something. I texted Lance, the best friend a man could ask for, and got a boost by helping him to work out a problem of his own.

After I got some ice cream and settled in for King of the Hill, I finally did what I had been thinking I needed to do all day. I went on Web MD and looked up the symptoms for depression.

Well, without a proper diagnosis I can never be sure, but it looks like I am depressed. The symptoms matched up even the gastrointestinal distress that I was thinking was unrelated.

I am not sure how I feel about it. I guess I am pleased that I can finally say, without proper diagnosis of course I will not be sure, that I am not just bummed out some of the time. I am reasonably depressed sometimes.

I guess the next step would be to go to a doctor and make sure, but depression and all, I don't want to take pills. I don't want to be on some kind of anti-depressant for the rest of my life. I feel like making me normal, would take away from me.

Whether I like it or not I have very deep depressions that I go into and I have lived through them all so far. Even the ones after being left holding the ring, where in the other hand I held a razor, I survived. I made it through to be typing this.

I think it all comes down to that day dream/ vision I had today. Imagining the baby in my arms with keep my hands from cradling something else that will destroy that dream.

I know without a doubt that God has a plan for me and that this depression that I face is something in that plan that I have to deal with and also overcome in order to reach that end goal whatever it may be.

What They Died For

2010-05-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

I knew it! Jack is the new Jacob! This was an intriguing and fact-filled episode. As always with a penultimate episode to a season finale of Lost, we get a big reveal and an even bigger set-up for the long episode.

I like that we saw what happened with Miles, Richard and Ben. Unfortunately Miles ran away again, but we got something in return.

Ben went to the dark side. His power driven personality sent him right into Locke's arms. Watching him kill Widmore almost made up for the sadness of Alex's passing and I did not see it coming. I guess it was Locke's only way of tying up the loose ends.

I loved the scene at the camp fire where Jacob told them why he brought them there. Because they are flawed. Because they needed the island just as much as he did. It is something intriguing to what it all boiled down to.

Jack stepping up to be a leader of men and a force for good was ingrained in his character from the beginning. His imperfect leadership and absolute need to fix things lead him to this point and back to the island. It was always his destiny to become the island's over seer because now he can fix the whole world and keep it safe.

I guess Hurley got tired of his lager role as leader this season because he said, "I'm glad it's not me."

Unfortunately this means, that while Jack cannot be killed, Sawyer, Hurley, and Kate are fair fodder for Locke to toy with.

The sideways world also had some very interesting developments this episode. Desmond is setting the wheels in motion and we have to wonder who will be at this concert and what it will all come down to. I have a feeling we will be star-struck by the amount of guest stars in this season finale. I am crossing my fingers for Juliet and Mr. Eko.

I like that Hurley is so much in on the plan now. He was probably the easiest to convince of the plan because of his kiss with Libby.

It all comes down to this folks. The concert and the meeting of the island immortals. The Man of Science vs. the Man of Faith.

Here's a few questions to tide you over, for 5 days, and hopefully will be answered by the season finale. Plus as an added bonus, my prediction for the final scenes of Lost. I have two theories.

Is Richard dead or was he just taken out of the equation?

Where is this concert located that it will be an optimal place for the event that is about to take place?

Who is Dylan's mother?

How will Desmond convince everyone to be at the concert?

Will Ben let Locke destroy the island after he promised it to him?

Can Jack kill Locke and how many people will die in the mean time?

So here is my prediction for the least likely ending to Lost, but would still be pretty cool if it happened: Cut to Walt all grown up and on a flight. Suddenly there is a little turbulence. A large shock wave goes through the plane and it crashes. We see Walt's eye open. He seems to recognize the place. A man walks out of the jungle around him, "Hello Walt. Welcome back." Jack is standing above him offering him a hand up. Black. LOST.

Now here is a more likely scenario: Jack is sitting on the beach playing in the sand, leaning up against a log. Locke comes up and sits on the log near Jack. "Do you know how much I want to kill you?" Jack smiles. "Yeah. I think I do." Black. LOST.

Join me here in 5 days for the series (it hurts to write that word in connection with the next one) finale of Lost aptly named, The End.

The Solitary Man

2010-05-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am...

That sentence is at any one of any beginning for describing oneself. A state of being. Existence.

I had and have been having lately an existential crisis with this idea. The all important, all encompassing question: Who am I?

The solitary man stands on a bridge, arms clasped behind his back, staring into a waterfall. We only see him from behind. He is a figure surrounded by things much bigger and greater than he is, things that know their purpose while he ponders his.

I like to stare at this sketch. Imagine myself as the man. Imagine what he is thinking. Imagine what I would think.

I am the solitary man. I have realized this today. A speck in the universe that is not agitated by his surroundings, but comfortable staring back at them.

I know that the confidence I have in myself is directly linked to my comfort level in existing in a world that I differ from.

My very wise friend Lance calmed my storming mind earlier today with these words, "Who I am is something I know, but discover with every decision in every moment."

I want to evolve into the person I want to be every day that I exist. I know what i show people and I now know I am the solitary man.

I keep my eyes trained on the world I exist in, but kknow that I am not broken down as easily aas it can be.

I am... the solitary man.

Cliche

2010-05-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

This, my last full quarter of college, has been a huge dagger into my self esteem as a writer. I like getting my peers and teachers critiques back, but it is hard some time to know that I have worked on something and yes may have let a cliche slip into the writing, but what if that is how I felt.

I am writing specifically now about my creative non-fiction class. I received feedback on my first (second) draft of my segmented essay today and in several different places I noticed a peer write cliche, next to a sentence.

Is how I felt and the only way I can think to describe that emotion really cliche?

I am starting to wonder, it is always the same guy who seems to find the mundane and over used in my writing, if my life is a cliche. If I am typical, archetypal, a wandering definition of a certain type of person.

Someone says in a crowd, "I need a tall, swimmer, with strong Christian faith and socialist politics, whose had one girlfriend and multiple broken hearts."

Am I that obvious of a character?

I would like to think I defy convention. I would like to think that my thoughts and feelings are my own, but to this man and many others that read my work, I have been done before.

My feelings and experiences have been written and these people have read it.

I'd like to say, "I'll show them!" and "I'll give you the best personal essay you have ever seen!" But to be blunt I am wiped.

Worn out, toast, road kill. I can barely function in these classes. I will do what I can to try in quality work, but I haven't been able to reach my full potential yet.

I feel like this quarter has become a 1000 pound weight that I am letting slowly crush me to death.

I'd like to say that once I leave school and publish and they read it, it will be showing them, but who knows when that will be.

I guess for now I will be cliche. I have my excuses. I have my reasons. I have my own thoughts that seem to only be translatable into turns of phrase used for years.

I am cliche and I realize it is cliche to say that.

Several Dreams About One Person

2010-05-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

I'm terrified.

I don't understand my subconscious any more. I have been having highly, it feels like, prophetic dreams lately and they are pushing me toward feelings that are strong. Too strong in some instances.

I see her in the dreams as a savior, a lover, and a friend.

I prayed not long ago to have a woman come into my life in a big way. I never thought it would be her, but I cannot help the near obviousness of the push toward her.

I question it though. I am terrified of rejection. Of the heartbreak.

I want to blame my former love as the only reason for this. She's not. I had these feelings before her. I guess they are at a heightened state now because of her.

Last year around this same time I was in another state just like this one. I was terrified of loosing the friend so much that I never took a chance on being a lover.

I never fully expressed everything I felt for fear of completely pushing her away and out of my life because I always end up being the friend, the nice guy to say hello to and I would rather have that than lose everything.

I look in the mirror nearly everyday and I wonder what's wrong with today. I check my phone constantly for text messages or calls. I stop myself from texting, trying to play it cool. Trying not to scare her.

I suddenly get the urge to be with the girl all the time to only think and obsess and get trapped in my head and then when I am with her I am happy, I am content and suddenly when she's gone I have a hole inside of me.

I don't know what to believe.

In my dreams I cannot control who is there and what is said, but it seems to have a hold on me as to staying burned in my waking memory and making me think that the things said in the dreams were real conversations and real interactions and they stay with me throughout the day.

Some of the dreams, the feelings I had, the conversations and physical connections I made are the best I can do right now. They are a place where I cannot control when or how or why I get rejected, but they are so vivid I feel like the person said what they said and meant it.

That's why these recent dreams scare me. She is saying things to me that I want to believe that the real person would say, but I don't know.

I want to take that dive and that plunge and I think I need to, to get over this fear and terror I am feeling. I need to explain and to get it out in the open. In writing this I have resolved that I need to take action and that's that.

I am terrified.

Across the Sea

2010-05-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

So now we know how it all started. We know who Adam and Eve were in the first season, how the Donkey Wheel came about and we know how the Man in Black became his old Smokey self. Boy was I wrong about Adam and Eve.

It was very interesting to watch the interplay and imagery of the light and dark. Jacob always dressed in light colors and the Man in Black dressed... in well... black.

We could see the fascination with people and how they are and their nature come into the equation. Jacob and the Man in Black were not raised to be human. They were raised to be some sort of meta humans.

I really liked when the Man in Black and Jacob are playing their game for the final time and the Man in Black takes on the persona of the devil in a way when he says something like, "You can't know these people standing up there, looking down on them." It is fascinating that without even thinking of it they took on these roles of light and dark. I also like that they alluded to Jacob's bringing people to the island as his own game to play some day.

To know that Jacob created the ultimate evil is even more fascinating. He did not want the responsibility. As a human he was fallible. He only became something bigger than that with the power his mother gave to him.

I tend to think now that we have seen this episode, we can surmise that while Jacob was finding a candidate to replace him, he was trying to find one sooner rather than later. He didn't want the job and it seems at the end neither did his mother as she thanked the Man in Black for killing her.

This was an enlightening episode and it definitely builds a suspense for the showdown to come in the next several episodes as we can hope that the most worthy candidate of the ones that are left will ascend to the role of Jacob and be able to put a stop to the Man in Black's schemes.

I am really excited to see how this mythology plays into the story we have so far and how it will end. Join me next week for the ultimate kick off of a Lost week. We have two episodes next week, but be sure to catch me here at the same time as a ramp up to the finale with a discussion on the episode, What They Died For.

The Candidate

2010-05-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am still sniffling hard. We lost so many people in this episode. The ill-fated lovers Sun and Jin, the last noble act of Sayid, and poor Frank, who just wanted to fly to Guam.

The producers promised us death in this last season and we have it. I kept hoping that Sun and Jin would swim out from the sub unharmed and I think that is what the director wanted us to feel as the last shots of the sub going down confirmed their death.

With all of his talk of destiny and not being able to be killed throughout this episode I wonder what Jack is thinking at this moment. He tried to keep them together and we eventually figured out Locke's plan, but so many people, like when he was the man in charge at the beginning of this journey, have died because of his leadership decisions.

I wonder how the remaining castaways, plus the absent adventurers, Miles, Ben, Richard, and Desmond, will survive Locke's wrath. It is obvious now that Locke needs to kill the candidates and that everyone else, Richard and Widmore included, need to find a way to protect them.

In the sideways world, more people are experiencing the return of memory of the life before. Locke had dreams about it, but there is definite significance in the fact that the shoe is on the other foot and Locke is now a candidate, for surgery, in the sideways world. It matters that the stories of Locke's father and how he became paralyzed is different and that he is a different person than the man who came to the island.

Now on to the questions I have:

What changed Sayid's mind about Locke's orders, why didn't he kill Desmond?

Is Widmore really there to protect people or to save his own skin, by not letting Locke leave?

Are Jin and Sun still alive in the sideways world and also will we see them again?

Ditto for Sayid?

What's Jack's next move?

How, where, and with who, will the show down take place?

Despite my great sadness at the deaths of some of my favorite characters, I still greatly enjoyed this episode. I can hardly wait for next week. Join me when we will look at the episode, Across the sea. Only 3 more episodes.

The Fall of Western Civilization

2010-05-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

I place this picture here to not support the efforts of film studios to exploit every flash in the pan idea about revitalizing an '80s children's cartoon show into a live action film, I show it to you to degrade that film industry.

The Smurfs was never anything special. It had the same morals, idiotic villains, and archetypal characters as every single other cartoon on the air. In fact if you changed the name Gargamel to Sky People, Smurf Berries to Unobtainium, and Smurfs to Na'vi, you have the exact plot of Avatar.

I just wish this Hollywood phase of idiotic nostalgia would be over. I am tired of being bombarded with images from my childhood with captions that read, "Look who's back," or what have you.

I guess I just want something new and original instead of something I had a tepid interest in when I was a kid. I will avoid said Smurfs movie and all movies based on '80s cartoon shows from now. I can't take it any more Hollywood. You won't get my dollar any more.

The only way that they can redeem themselves is if they kept the costume the same and the makeup the same, but the character was actually Moe Syzlak from The Simpsons. That would be a great move and one I would try and see multiple times in the theater.

A Quick Update: April

2010-05-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

So this past month of April I saw a total of 27 movies and I repeated none. I am on a hot streak of non-repeated viewings, let's hope that continues for the next couple of months.

My grand total is now up to 119 and one repeat. I am well on my way to beating last year's total. I just have to get some free time so i can continue to watch.

Here is the list with Netflix star ratings and everything.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (5)
The Marc Pease Experience (3)
Inglourious Basterds (5)
Scarface (1932) (3)
Coraline (2)
Sixteen Candles (5)
Ocean's Eleven (5)
Gosford Park (5)
Date Night (4)
The Damned United (5)
Thelma and Louise (2)
Capitalism: A Love Story (3)
The Man Who Wasn't There (5)
Paradise Now (5)
Kick-Ass (5)
Blood Simple (5)
The Sixth Sense (5)
Ballast (5)
Jennifer's Body (2)
The Fall (5)
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (5)
2012 (2)
Catch A Fire (5)
Fargo (5)
Big Fan (5)
Lady Vengeance (4)
The 40 Year-Old Virgin (5)

The Last Recruit

2010-04-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

I have to start toward the end of the episode because two things made me extremely happy about this episode and they are nearly the same. Sun did not die in the sideways world and Sun and Jin are reunited in the original world!

This reunion, while cut short was still what most of us have been waiting for since we learned Jin was still alive in season 5. I have to admit I cried with happiness.

Now onto the rest of the episode. This was a big one in terms of everyone getting their own piece of the flash-sideways. It was also that way so that the pieces are coming together on that end. People are meeting others and there was that creepy thing where Sun and Locke were being wheeled in together and Sun started freaking out when she saw Locke. She obviously remembers something.

I think the only one missing from the flash-sideways was Hurley, but he was out with the girl of his parallel universe so I don't blame him for not being there.

On the island we were treated to Widmore's first strike missile capabilities and a plan hatched by Sawyer. We also learned that Desmond survived his fall into the well and that Sayid might not be totally under Locke's control.

I have to say I was not surprised that Widmore went back on his word, given his track record and the fact that I am sure he had surveillance on Sawyer and knew about the plan to steal the sub.

I think Locke is losing a bit of his power among his own people and is thus losing his grip on his mission, but he is still king of the Island right now.

Before we get into questions I am glad Hurley was able to get in one really great line this episode where he and Sawyer were talking about Sayid. Sawyer said, "He's gone over to the Dark Side," and Hurley claims, "People can come back from the Dark Side, look at Anakin." Brilliant.

Now several questions:

The title of the episode is "The Last Recruit," does that refer to Jack and how Locke claimed Jack is with him now?

Does Locke really believe that Jack is working for him?

What will Widmore do to the majority of castaways that he has now captured?

Did Sayid kill Desmond?

What is Locke's game plan now?

And I think this is the most important to the finale of the series, Will Jack in the sideways world completely fix Locke so that he can walk again?

There is no episode next week, (damn you corporate executives) but the next week after that please join me here for the episode titled, "The Candidate."

A Snag in the Plan

2010-04-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

As I posted last night/this morning I was claiming that I would be able to start my new blog "365 Days of Film," in two weeks on May 1st. Boy was I wrong.

First, I could not find enough films that I really loved to complete the list and even though I found some, I haven't seen a lot of them in over a year or so, plus there are several films that I know I will at least like more than a few that are making the long list, so I want to see all of those before I make a final decision.

Thus, I am with a heavy heart pushing back the launch of that blog to September 1st.

But don't worry this will give me time to create an even better and stronger list for reading and viewing pleasure.

My Time and Space

2010-04-17T00:43:00.000-07:00

I have a very strong sense of time. By that I mean that many of my dreams contain a certain situation that seems odd at the time, but suddenly, once a period of time has passed, they become deja vu moments.

I don't think they are necessarily a vague notion of what is happening being familiar, because with my deja vu it happens nearly exactly as it appeared in the dream.

A fellow water polo player suggested casually that I may have a brain aneurysm. This of course frightened me a little bit and I am still doing research for whether or not deja vu is a symptom of an aneurysm, but I think I prefer Peter Bishop's explanation of the phenomenon on last night's Fringe.

He claimed a more spiritual approach to the phenomenon in that it is destiny's way of telling us we are on track (I paraphrased that. I highly recommend the episode besides, but see it if you need an exact translation).

I kind of like and am intrigued by this idea of God's plan for me being implemented in my subconscious. I like that on some level I know what I am doing is on the path toward my fate and my destiny.

Maybe I do have an aneurysm though and that is what my deja vu warns me that I am on a path to finding out that diagnosis.

I suppose now that I have researched a little bit and found no link though, I am left with just waiting for the next marker to tell me that I am on track to where God wants me heading.

New Blog Coming Soon

2010-04-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

I have decided that in addition to this blog of the conglomeration of all of my thoughts I got the great idea to make another blog, which will tentatively be called, "365 Days of Film," to post a movie a day in order of preference for a twelve month period.

I wanted to do something where I could show off my love for certain movies and kind of be a recommendation engine for those who are interested in finding possibly a film they have forgotten about or to get inside my head even deeper than you could with just the 100 top films I have posted here.

This new blog's top 100 will closely mimic the 100 lists I have already posted it is just that some will be moved around and down and up so as to kind of become a better and more complete list.

I am thinking now that this will just be a year long blog and not continuous, because who wants to read about the same movies or at least most of the same movies in a slightly different order year after year.

Also, don't worry, I won't make you wait until January for the beginning of this list I am going to compile and come up with my choices and begin fresh on May 1st.

I hope that people will follow me there and be as excited as I am about this project. It will be a lot of work, but hopefully a lot of fun as well.

Everybody Loves Hugo

2010-04-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

"... except women." as his mother so lovingly proclaims in Hurley's sideways flash. This episode was an incredible game changer on both sides of the universe.

First let's talk Island life. We now know what the whispers are! All the lost souls that the Island has trapped there. Thank you Michael for that helpful tidbit and for helping Hurley on his leadership quest.

Speaking of leadership, Ilana is now dead after she pulled a Dr. Arzt and the camp of Richard has been split. Hurley taking his troops, after destroying the Black Rock, toward Locke's group and a possible barrel full of answers and a way to destroy the man and Richard's rag tag band of people to try and find something that will blow up a plane.

I really like that conversation between Hurley and Jack about leadership. I thought that was a nice turn around from season 1 where Hurley put his complete faith in Jack. Hurley has really come into his own with finding himself in the leadership role.

Meanwhile Locke seems to know why Desmond was brought back, but it seems we will never know since, Locke pushed him down a well. That story-line will lead into several questions later in the post.

Now the sideways flash. Everybody loves Hugo. He is still rich, a philanthropist and all around nice guy and like with all good stories this nice guy gets to see his girl again. I couldn't help, but tear up at the reunion of Hurley and Libby. It felt so right and as we saw it felt right to the both of them as well.

And then there was that strange kind of tit for tat moment where, sideways Desmond slams into sideways Locke with a car.

That leads us to all the questions that erupted in my mind from this episode:

What can Hurley and Locke discuss that will keep everyone safe?

How will Hurley destroy Locke, if Locke does not persuade him to go along with his plan first?

Is Desmond dead?

Could/can Desmond travel seamlessly between the two worlds?

Is sideways Locke dead?

Will Jack fix him?

Is Desmond a shepherd for the people of Oceanic 815?

What will happen to them once they start to remember everything?

And the biggest game changing question that is still burned in my mind:

What was with Jack's look at Locke at the end of the episode?

This was undoubtedly one of the best and most intriguing episodes of the season and I am excited to see next week's new episode. So join me same time same, same channel for the episode, "The Last Recruit."